


We Could Be More Than Just Amazing

by Brinielsen



Category: Westlife
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 40,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brinielsen/pseuds/Brinielsen
Summary: What will happen when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend and he dosen't feel the same for you?Will your friendship forever be ruined or will it develop into something more?
Relationships: Kian Egan/Brian McFadden, Mark Feehily/Original Male Character(s), Mark Feehily/Shane Filan, Nicky Byrne/Kian Egan, Nicky Byrne/Shane Filan
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This Is a Fanfic me and my dear friend Lene have wrote together we hope that you will enjoy it.

Shane was confused. What was happening to him? How did this happen? 2 weeks ago, things had been very different. Nicky was just Nicky, his best friend. Now he was all he could think about. It drove him crazy; Nicky consumed his thoughts day and night. It was exhausting.

Shane sighted and threw himself on the bed. All he wanted was to go to sleep and not see Nicky in his dreams. But he knew that wasn't going to happen.

Every night it was the same dream. He was holding hands with Nicky, then the blonde smiled at him, let go of his hand, and walked away, walked away.... into Kian's arms.

That's when Shane would wake up, night after night the same dream. Night after night Shane would curse at Kian.

Kian... if only Nicky would smile at him, just once, the way he smiled at Kian every day. Shane would do anything for that, anything.

“Goddammit I hate Kian!” Shane yelled a bit too loud.

He hoped that no one in the next room had heard him. When he finally fell asleep it was a restless night with the same dream again.

Shane woke up to a knock on the door. He crawled out of bed; his body felt like it hadn't slept in weeks. This wasn’t far from the truth.

When he opened the door, he was met with Mark's beaming smile.

“Jesus Shay, you look like shit. Rough night?”

Shane rubbed his eyes. “Something like that, what’s up Marky?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to come to breakfast with me and the lads?”

“Sure, let me just take a shower first. I''ll meet you there.”

When Mark left, Shane sat down on the bed. He wasn't sure he could face them again. And the last thing he wanted was to see Nicky and Kian all over each other, smiling and laughing. He wanted more than anything to crawl back into bed, but he knew he couldn't do that. Shane took a deep breath and prepared himself for another day of heartache.

When he got to the breakfast area, the others were already there. Nicky and Kian were at the buffet; they pushed against each other and laughed. Shane sat down at the table next to Mark. Mark looked at Nicky and Kian and he couldn't help but laugh too.

“God, they’re idiots” Shane said and sighed.

“I bet they're doing it” Mark said.

Shane spat out the water he had just put in his mouth. “WHAT??? Seriously?”

“Yeah I wouldn't put it past them.”

“Well isn’t that just great” Shane mumbled. He was grateful that Mark didn't seem to hear him.

Mark stood up. “Are you coming?” he asked 

“No, I just lost my appetite.” Shane said and looked down at his empty plate.

When Nicky and Kian came back to the table, Shane started to regret having gotten out of bed at all.

“Good morning Shay” they said in unison and laughed again.

Shane felt sick, “What’s so good about it!”

“Ok ok, grumpy” Kian said.

“Fuck off Egan” Shane yelled.

“Wow relax, geez what’s your problem Filan?”

“YOU! YOU’RE MY FUCKING PROBLEM!”

“What the hell, what the fuck have I ever done to you?” Kian was very confused.

Shane looked like he wanted to punch Kian in the face. He thought about it but decided it wouldn’t be worth it.

“Just forget it” Shane said and hung his head.

“No, I'm not gonna forget it Shay. You've been treating me like crap for the past 2 weeks. And I’m done, why are you so mad at me?”

Shane kept his head down; he knew that if he looked up and met Kian's gaze that he would end up crying. Nobody said anything, the silence hung in the air.

Until Nicky finally spoke

“What’s wrong, Shay?” His voice was full of worry and Shane couldn’t bear it. Tears started falling down Shane's cheeks. His hands trembled and when he opened his mouth to speak, his voice was only a whisper.

“Why Ki? Why not me?” Shane looked at Nicky with begging eyes.

Nicky didn’t know how to respond; he wasn’t sure what Shane meant.

“What are you talking about, Shay?” Mark and Kian shared a look, they were confused too.

Shane took a deep breath and said with pain in his voice.

“You and Ki....you’re always touching each other and flirting.... you never do that with me....and I wish you did.... cuz I really like you Nix...”

That was it, he finally told Nicky how he felt. He had wanted to tell him so many times but lost his nerve every time. There was no turning back now. Shane felt nervous and scared. Why didn’t Nicky say anything???

After what felt like hours to Shane, but had only been seconds, Nicky started talking. “Gosh Shay.... I.....I’m sorry…” Shane's heart sank, he felt defeated.

“Shay you're a great guy but.... I like Kian”

Shane broke down, he cried his eyes out. It was all over now. Nicky would never be his. He had lost him....to Kian, just like in his dreams. He looked at Nicky through his tears just to take his features in one last time. He shook his head and tried to turn around to walk away, but his feet were glued to the spot.

Nicky saw how defeated, hurt, and vulnerable Shane looked and felt very sorry for his friend. He walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Shane shook it off and said with a trembling voice “Just leave me alone” then he walked off. He took the elevator to his floor and locked himself in his room, he fell down on the bed and let his tears fall free. It was definitely over now, how could he ever move on? Seeing Nicky and Kian touching and flirting every day.

Well knowing that Nicky could never be his, his tears eventually dried out and he fell asleep, dreamless this time.

He was woken by a knock on the door, he looked at the time he had almost slept 3 hours, then it knocked again.

“I’m coming Jesus relax” once again he was met by Marks beaming smile.

“What do you want? He asked angrily

“To talk”

“I don’t want to talk” Shane said

Mark pretended that he had not heard him, and he forced himself past Shane and sat down on the nearest chair.

“Well then welcome pretend you're at home” he hissed.

“What was that, that happened earlier today?” Mark asked.

“Nothing”

“Well to me it didn’t look like nothing” Shane rolled his eyes.

“So, you like Nix, but he doesn’t like you, he likes Ki and you are now a complete mess cuz of it”

“Mark what do you want? I’m not interested in you telling me that Nix and Ki are perfect for each other! In fact, as it is right now, I’m not interested at all in hearing about Nix, or seeing him!”

“Well Shane though luck, you need to suck it up. You don’t have a choice. You’re going to see him and them again tomorrow when we need to rehearse before the show, so get your shit together and behave”

Mark stood up and walked towards the door; before he let himself out, he turned around and said, “Get yourself together tomorrow”

When he had closed the door, he stood for a while and let his thoughts wander.

_"God damn Shay, why do you like Nix and not me? I'm the right one for you, don't you see it, I could make you happy……. god damn, what do I do now?"_

He shook his head and left for his room.


	2. Chapter 2

When Nicky woke up the next morning, he felt exhausted. As usual his 1st thoughts were of Kian. Sweet, beautiful Kian. He knew that he was falling for him. more and more each day. Until yesterday it had only brought him joy but today it filled him with guilt.

He had broken Shane's heart because of it. He never meant to. As he got up, he wondered if Shane would ever be okay again.

Kian had barely slept that night. Nicky’s words rang in his ears. He liked him; Kian couldn’t believe it. He had hoped and prayed that Nicky felt the same way about him, but he hadn’t been sure. Until yesterday, Kian’s heart sang, and a huge smile spread across his face.

But his smile faded fast when he remembered Shane's face.

His heartbroken face, He felt so awful for hurting him. How would Shane ever get through this? And what would this mean for them all?

Kian got out of bed and tried to not think about it. As he stood under the shower, his thoughts returned to Nicky.

When Kian got out of the shower, his phone beeped.

“Good morning beautiful, wanna have breakfast with me?” Kian smiled at the thought of Nicky calling him beautiful.

“I’d love to darling,” he texted back.

When they met at breakfast, their hearts skipped a beat. They both scanned the room for Shane, but the brunette was nowhere to be found. They sighed with relief, none of them wanted to face him right now.

“Hey Ki” Nicky said with a tiny smile.

“Hey Nix” Kian said and smiled back at the blonde.

Nicky's heart felt like it would jump out of his chest. Kian’s smile made him melt and his cheeks flush.

“Mr Byrne, are you blushing?” Kian said and his smile became even wider.

“It’s your entire fault” Nicky said and tried to look elsewhere.

Kian stepped closer to him and before Nicky could think Kian's lips found Nicky’s. He froze for a second but then he kissed him back. He couldn’t believe how soft Kian's lips were and how good it felt to finally be kissing him.

“Open your mouth” Kian whispered in between kisses. Nicky did as he was told and when their tongues found each other, their kisses became deeper and intense.

Mark walked in on them, he cleared his throat

“Ahem” he said.

Nicky and Kian instantly jumped apart.

“Breakfast and a live sex show, good morning to me” Mark said and laughed.

“Hey Mark” Nicky said. “Didn't hear you come in, sorry about the show, it was all Ki’s fault.” Now Kian was the one blushing.

“Well it didn’t seem like you had a problem with it” Mark said and winked at Nicky.

“Just be glad, it wasn’t Shay who saw it” Mark said and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat with the mention of Shane's name.

All their smiles faded. Nicky and Kian felt guilty again. None of them said anything for a while. They all knew that everything had changed now; nothing would ever be the same again.

Kian finally spoke.

“Did you talk to him last night?”

“Yeah, I did” Mark said, and his eyes changed.

“How is he?” Nicky whispered.

“Not great Nix, he’s pretty heartbroken.”

Mark tried to get the image of Shane's tear-stained face out of his mind. He couldn’t believe that Nicky could and would hurt Shane so much. If Shane had been his, he would never hurt him like that…...ever.

Mark shook his head and tried to not think of Shane's pain. Then he said

“You guys properly shouldn’t let Shay see any of this there’s no need to pour salt in the wound, you know.” Nicky and Kian nodded.

None of them wanted to hurt Shane any more than they already had. They all sat down and had breakfast in silence. Shane never showed up.

As Nicky and Kian left, Nicky took Kian's hand. Their fingers intertwined and they smiled at each other.

Shane woke up the next day feeling slightly better, at least he hadn’t dreamt about Nicky. So, he had managed to get some sleep.

 _I really needed that._ He thought before he went into the shower. He unfortunately didn’t manage to hold the thought of Nicky out of his head. He just couldn’t.

He was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last at nightfall, he was the love that came without warning, and he needed him badly.

Shane hit the wall and said loudly to himself “Get your grip together, he’s with Ki now, just face it he will never be yours” he left the shower and put some dry clothes on before he was about to meet the others in an hour.

When he got to the Arena, Mark was already there. He asked him “are you feeling better today?”

Shane nodded and smiled, but his smile quickly faded when he saw Nicky and Kian come through the door smiling and holding hands. _Fuck do they really have to do that when I’m watching?”_

Nicky and Kian saw Shane and they instantly let go of each other’s hands and hoped that Shane hadn’t noticed. He fought back his tears and said hi. Then he looked away, they didn’t needed to see his reaction, he didn’t wanted them to see him cry. _It was his pain and no one else’s._

But he couldn’t hide the pure shock, he just couldn’t do this. It was way too hard to see them like that, he needed to get his head straight and the only way he could do that was to loose himself in singing.

Nicky saw that Shane turned away. He had seen the expression on his face, and it hurt him more than he anticipated, to see his friend like that.

Shane walked away tears were forming in his eyes again.

“Shay wait” Nicky yelled.

Shane stopped dead in his tracks. When he turned around to face Nicky, the blonde's eyes were filled with tears. As he spoke, the tears started to fall down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Shay, please don’t hate me” Nicky said.

Kian felt sick now, Nicky’s pain was more than he could handle. He wanted to hug him but decided against it, now was not the time.

Then Shane started to cry too. Nicky’s tears pierced his heart.

“I don’t hate you; I could never hate you Nix but I....it’s just so hard, you know.”

Shane felt his heart break again. He didn’t know what else to say. No words could speak his pain and no words could change the fact that Nicky didn’t want him. Nicky nodded. He was so scared to lose Shane as a friend, but he understood that Shane needed time to heal.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the day went way too slowly Shane thought, he didn’t enjoy any of the rehearsals, he kept looking at Nicky, but Nicky’s eyes were glued to Kian. The show in the evening wasn’t enjoyable either. They always had, had such a good chemistry on stage but not tonight.

When the show was over Shane left quickly for the hotel, Mark followed shortly after. He knew that Shane properly could use a friend now, and a shoulder to cry on and he would be there for him.

He knocked on Shane’s door, when Shane opened, he looked even worse than yesterday, Mark just stepped inside and took Shane in his arms and gave him a hug. Shane let his tears fall and Mark's t-shirt got soaked but right now he didn’t care. Shane needed him, so he let him cry it out.

Shane’s tears went dry, and Mark followed him over to the bed.

He looked at him and said.

“Shay I’ll be here when you need a shoulder to cry on, I know that it’s hard to see them together when you have feelings for Nix but right now you can’t do anything about it, they like each other”

Shane felt exhausted now.

“Thanks Mark, I know I can’t do anything. I've lost him. I appreciate that you will try and help me. But right now, I just want to forget them” 

Mark nodded

“I can understand that, wanna go out and have a few drinks with me?”

Shane nodded “It can’t hurt can it? Just don’t let me get too drunk”

“Never” Mark said with a smile, Shane quickly changed to some clean clothes and then they hit the nearest pub.

When the alcohol got in Shane’ body, he blabbered more and more. Mark let him talk as he figured that he needed to get it out of his system before he could move on.

They stumbled back to the hotel in the early morning supporting one another. They were so drunk that it was a miracle that they even managed to find the hotel. Shane was in a good mood now under the influence of alcohol, they found his room and he locked them in.

“Gees Mark I’m so drunk now, it’s a wonder that I’m still standing”

“I’m so drunk too; don’t know if I’m capable of finding my own room now”

“Just stay here with me then” Shane said.

Mark looked at him “Shay, you only have one bed”

“Ahh it’s a double we can share” he said swaying from side to side.

“Alright then” Mark said.

He looked over at Shane who got out of his t-shirt and jeans before he crawled under the duvet.

_Oh gosh Shay, don’t temp me_ he thought and then he asked again, his head was a bit more clear now.

“Shay, are you sure?”

“Yeah just come to bed” he said and patted on the sheets next to him.

Mark kept his t-shirt on and crawled up to Shane, he lifted his arms to invite him in for a hug. Shane accepted it and when he laid there, he mumbled

“Why couldn’t I just had fallen for you instead of Nix, you’re so caring and thoughtful”

Mark sighed “If only I knew Shay, if only I knew” He whispered with pain in his voice

He couldn’t deny it anymore, he was in love with Shane and he would do anything to ease his pain. He gave him a kiss on the top of his head and sighed. 

Shane looked up at him, they stared into each other’s eyes and then out of nowhere Shane kissed him, Mark was stunned he hadn’t expected that, he hesitated only for a second before he kissed him back _God Shay your lips are so soft._

Their kiss deepened and before they knew what was going on, their needs took over, they were both breathing and moaning heavily.

Shane ripped Mark’s shirt off him, he was so turned on right now that he desperately needed him, he needed to be fucked till he was seeing stars, and he would rather sleep with Mark than a stranger.

Mark couldn’t control himself, fuck he had dreamed about this for so long, he quickly got out of his own boxers before he took Shane’s boxers off him, Shane reached for Mark’s stiff cock and took it in his hands. He stoked up and down the shaft Mark moaned loudly now, it was so wonderful to feel Shane's hands on his cock.

He found Shane’s shaft and they stroked each other simultaneously they moaned so loudly now.

“Fuck Mark……so good…. fuck”

“Fuck…… Shay……. don’t…… stop”

Mark got Shane turned around he spat on his fingers and worked with his hole, he slowly let two fingers slip into his ass.-Shane whimpered with pleasure, this was exactly what he needed right now.

He fumbled with the drawer by the bed and found the lube and a condom, Mark took it from him and when he pop opened the bottle Shane gasped, his voice was only a whisper.

“Mark take me, I need you now” Mark looked at him and smiled, he rolled on the condom put lube on and then he ever so slowly entered Shane. He wanted to enjoy this moment to the fullest.

Their moans were insane, Mark set the pace and he hammered into him harder and harder. The sounds in the room was insane, skin against skin, moans and groans, Mark was so close to coming now, he found Shane's hard cock and stroked him, he twitched and then he came hard, Mark followed.

He pulled out after he had gotten his breathing under control, he tossed away the condom and tucked himself next to Shane. They quickly fell asleep.

They next day, they both woke up with a huge headache; they were lying in each other’s arms.

Shane looked at Mark “man my head hurts, what happened last night?”

Mark looked at Shane “tell me about it, I know we got really drunk, what else happened I can’t remember”

Shane looked at the nightstand and saw the bottle of lube.

“Oh no, tell me we didn’t……”

Mark shook his head “No way…. that was something I would have remembered”

Then Shane realised that he had no boxers on.

“Mark I’m not wearing my boxers, are you?”

He looked under the duvet and then he shook his head “I’m commando” he whispered.

“Fuck” They looked at each other and said in union “What do we do now?”

“Forget it happened and move on, still friends?” Shane suggested

Mark nodded “I think it’s for the best, and no more Shane and Mark gets drunk nights”

They both nodded and then Shane got out of bed, he walked at bit and then he said. “You’ve been taking me hard; I can barely walk”

Mark smiled a bit and whispered “I wish I could remember” Shane heard him

“Say what…… you don’t regret it?” Mark shook his head.

“No, I like you Shay, do you regret it?” Shane shook his head.

“No, I can’t regret something I can’t remember, but let’s just stay friends for now plz. I’m still having a hard time with Nix and Ki”

Mark got out of bed and gave Shane a hug “That’s fine with me, breakfast in 10 minutes?”

He nodded and then Mark left Shane’s room, when he was putting clean clothes on, he thought about last night, he could only remember bits here and there, like Shane’s soft lips against his, and that he had fucked him with his fingers, but right now that was enough.

He met up with Shane 10 minutes later and they went down to get some breakfast, they didn’t talk about last night, but Shane could also remember bits here and there. He could remember Mark’s soft lips against his and his fingers fucking him, but nothing more.

They had agreed to forget it and move on, Mark wanted more but he had accepted that Shane had a hard time right now and he knew that with time Shane would realise that Mark was good to him, and then hopefully they would end up together.


	4. Chapter 4

After the concert Nicky and Kian took a cab together from the arena to the hotel.

“That concert was shit” Kian said.

“Yeah the worst we've ever done” Nicky said and sighted.

“Shay isn’t gonna be okay with us, is he?” Kian said with a sad face.

“It doesn’t look like it” Nicky said and squeezed Kian's hand.

“I don’t blame him though, if the tables had been turned, I’d be a wreck if you didn’t want me” Nicky said and felt his cheeks flush.

“Mr Byrne, you're blushing again” Kian said and smiled.

“That seems to be the effect, you have on me” Nicky said and smiled back at him.

“I think it’s cute” Kian leaned in and kissed Nicky's nose. Shortly afterwards their lips found each other. Nicky was so hungry for Kian, he just wanted to kiss him till his jaw hurt. He was all over Kian now, panting away.

“OH, baby keep kissing me, don’t stop” he said hoarsely. Kian loved kissing Nicky, he was an amazing kisser and he had no intention of stopping.

When Nicky climbed on top of him, he felt his body react to Nicky's. Suddenly kissing Nicky wasn’t the only thing he wanted to do to him. Had they been anywhere else, he would have fucked Nicky's brains out, but seeing as they were in a cab, he snapped himself out of it and said

“Honey, honey stop, we can’t do this here.” Nicky sighed “Geez you'll be the end of me, Egan” and then he reluctantly climbed back in his seat. He starred out the window, pouted and cursed all cabs in the world.

After what felt like the longest cab ride of Nicky's life, they finally arrived at the hotel. They walked to their floor in silence.

“Your room or mine” Kian said and winked at Nicky.

“My room is closer” Nicky said, and winked back.

They almost ran to Nicky's room and as soon as they were inside, Kian pushed Nicky up against the wall and kissed him like his life depended on it. Nicky moaned, Kian's kisses were wild and intense; he had never been kissed like that before. He never wanted it to end.

Then suddenly Kian stopped kissing him, his eyes burned with lust and Nicky was instantly hard.

“Take off your pants and boxers” he ordered and with trembling hands, Nicky did what he was told.

Kian gasped at the sight of Nicky's hard cock, he wanted more than anything to take him in his mouth.

Kian's mouth closed around Nicky's cock, Nicky felt his knees give in and he had to grab a hold of Kian's shoulders. It felt so good, he was so turned on and he prayed that Kian wouldn’t stop anytime soon. Kian deep throated Nicky over and over; he had never wanted him more. Nicky moaned his name and begged him not to stop.

As Nicky was getting close to his orgasm, he dug his nails into Kian's shoulders and moaned loudly “Baby.... yes yes...fuuuuuccckkkk....”

He came so hard, his come dripped down Kian's throat and not a drop was wasted. Nicky fell to the floor and panted heavily. That was, hands down, THE best blowjob he had ever had. He closed his eyes and tried to get his breathing under control. When he opened his eyes again, Kian looked at him and smiled.

“Looks like blushing is not the only effect I have on you, Mr Byrne” he said and laughed.

Nicky laughed too, “I guess not” he said and pulled Kian in for a kiss.

When Nicky's breathing was back to normal, Kian started to kiss him again. Their tongues danced in each other’s mouths and Kian threw his groin against Nicky’s. Kian was so hard now, he needed to come bad.

“Suck my cock” he whispered and moaned.

Nicky didn’t needed to be told that twice, he ripped Kian's pants and boxers down and took him in his mouth. He sucked him off so wild and fierce that Kian almost came straight away.

“Fuck baby.... that’s good...don’t stop” Kian screamed and pulled at Nicky's hair.

Nicky intensified his sucking, he wanted Kian to come in his mouth, he wanted to taste him and swallow his load so badly. Kian was close now; he couldn’t take it much longer. When Nicky began stroking his balls too, Kian came loud and hard. He shot his load into Nicky's mouth, the blonde smiled at him and swallowed. Kian dropped to his knees and pulled Nicky down with him.

“Thanks for returning the favour” Kian said panting.

“Anytime baby, ANYTIME” Nicky said and hugged him.

Seconds later, their lips found each other again. As their kisses became wilder and wilder, their moans became louder and louder. Kian lost control now, he started ripping all of his own clothes off. Nicky helped him and took the rest of his clothes off too. Kian pulled at Nicky’s hair and pushed him down on his back. Nicky’s hands were all over Kian’s body now, he wanted him so much.

“Fuck, I want you” Nicky moaned in between kisses.

“Take me then, fuck me honey” Kian whispered as he climbed on to Nicky’s cock.

Nicky moaned loudly as Kian took all of him in.

“My god, you’re tight baby” Nicky whispered. He shot his hips up and trusted in and out of him.

“FUCK.....YOU’RE SO BIG....YEAH...FUCK ME.....”

Kian had never been fucked so fierce before and he was so turned on.

Nicky kept fucking him, harder and harder. He took Kian’s hands and squeezed them so tight that they turned white.

“Oh yeah.... I’m close...” Nicky whispered.

“Yeah...yeah...don’t stop honey...”

Kian was close too and as Nicky’s hand grabbed his cock, Kian couldn’t handle it anymore. He tensed up, moaned Nicky’s name, and came hard. That was enough to send Nicky off the edge, he trusted one last time into Kian and came hard too.

Kian collapsed on top of Nicky as they both panted away. Nicky licked his fingers. Damn, his come tastes great he thought and smiled.

As Kian climbed down from Nicky, they kissed again.

“That was amazing baby” Nicky said and kissed him one more time.

“Hell yeah, we’re so doing that again” Kian said and laughed.

“Fuck yeah” Nicky laughed too.

Later, as Kian was sleeping (and snoring) Nicky couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. When he had realised, almost a year ago, that he liked Kian more than just a friend, he never thought that Kian would ever feel the same way about him. And here they were, hours of flirting later. When Kian stirred in his sleep and held him tight, Nicky couldn’t help but smile. Kian had been worth the wait; he had no doubt in his mind about that. Nicky kissed Kian's forehead, then he closed his eyes and fell asleep with a huge smile on his face.

When Kian woke up the next morning, Nicky’s arms were wrapped around him. Kian smiled and thanked his lucky stars for Nicky. For his smile, his laugh, his heart. He was crazy about the blonde and just wanted to stay in his arms forever. Then he felt Nicky tighten his grip around him and he turned around to face him.

Nicky smiled at him and said, “good morning beautiful.” Then he kissed him with so much passion that Kian could barely breathe.

When he finally caught his breath again, he said “good morning to you too baby.”

They kissed for a little while longer and then they fell into each other’s arms again.

“Please tell me, that we have today off, I don’t wanna do anything all day but to lie here with you” Nicky whispered.

Before Kian could answer, they heard a knock on the door and Mark shouting in the hallway

“Meet 'n' Greets in an hour lad.”

“Dammit” Kian and Nicky said in unison and reluctantly got out of bed.

When Shane got to the Meet 'n' Greets, he wondered where Nicky and Kian were.

He had made sure not to share a cab with them; he wanted to spend as little time with them as possible. His heart still broke a little every time he saw them together. And he still couldn’t believe that Nicky didn’t want him.

In his heart he knew that they belonged together. If only Nicky would realise it soon. He sighed and sat down. Nicky and Kian came through the door seconds later; they were holding hands and couldn’t take their eyes of each other.

Shane felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. He couldn’t do this; it was too painful. He wanted to run away, run until his lungs gave up. When Nicky and Kian saw Shane, they let go of each other’s hands right away. They could see the pain in his eyes and the guilt came back in their chests again. None of them knew what to say.

Shane tried not to cry; he took a deep breath and said, “Hey guys”

“Hi Shay” Kian said, he felt so guilty that he couldn’t bring himself to look at Shane.

Nicky cleared his throat and finally spoke

“Hey Shay” Nicky felt guilty too and he had to look away.

Shane’s pain was so intense and raw, it was written all over his face. Nicky couldn’t handle it.

When Mark arrived, they all took a deep breath and sat down. Shane blinked away a few tears and cursed at himself _. Get it together Filan, it’s time to get to work,_ he thought and put his best smile on.


	5. Chapter 5

_At the same time in Dublin._

He sat down, it seemed like he hadn’t had much time to sit down at all today. His phone beeped. It was a text from his friend. _Have you seen this?_ It said and then there was a link.

He clicked on it and Kian's beaming smile looked back at him. He couldn’t help but smile; he had always loved that smile. My god, he had loved him.

They had met when they were just teenagers; there had been an instant attraction between them. Over time it developed into love. Boy had they been in love. Years followed and all was right with the world. They had been so happy, until the band. They were always working, and they hardly had any time to be a couple.

Slowly, they started to drift apart and then the fighting began. Eventually all they did was fight. The only night they didn’t fight, was the night they had decided to break up. They both knew it was the right thing to do. But that didn’t make it any easier.

The months that followed were hard. Brian kept thinking that it would get better eventually but it never did.

He finally realised that the only thing he could do, was to leave the band.

The day he left; Kian was in tears. That day they had truly said goodbye. But the love he felt for Kian never faded. He tried to escape from it, tried to outrun it, but it followed him around everywhere he went.

Drinking didn’t do him much good either, the pain just wouldn’t stop. Even running away, to the other side of the world hadn’t helped either.

He sighted and threw his phone across the room. Why the hell did he click on that link??

That night Brian couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Kian's face. He heard his laugher too; it echoed around his bedroom and found its way to his heart.

If only they had worked harder on their relationship back then, maybe they would still be together.

Brian sighted and grabbed his phone. He wondered if Kian still had the same phone number. He wanted to call him, even though they hadn’t spoken in years. He just needed to hear his voice.

His fingers lingered over Kian's number, but then he lost his nerve. Maybe he should just leave it alone.

Then his phone beeped, it was a notification from Insta. He suddenly wondered if Kian was on Insta too.

His hands trembled as he typed in Kian's name. There he was, with that beaming smile. Brian felt his heart break, he still loved him, and he wanted him back.

Brian didn’t sleep much that night, he kept dreaming about Kian. The dreams were so vivid and real that he could almost feel Kian beside him.

He knew he had to reach out to him somehow. He couldn’t go on without him anymore.

After giving it a lot of thought, he decided to message him on Insta. There was so much he wanted to say to him, but Brian knew that pouring his heart out right away wouldn’t be ideal. So, he just wrote

“Hi Ki.”

His hands were shaking now. He hoped and prayed that Kian would message him back.

Hours passed by and still no response from Kian. Brian was going out of his mind now.

Why didn’t he respond? Did he not want to have anything to do with him anymore? Had he moved on?

Brian was sick to his stomach and he felt like he was gonna throw up.

He paced around his living room.

“Ki please respond, please” he said out loud. By mid-afternoon, there was still no word from Kian.

Kian had almost dropped his phone when he saw who had messaged him, Brian his 1st love.

Why did he message him now? It had been years since they broke up and they hadn’t had much contact since. Oh, how he had loved Brian.

Getting over him was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Kian let his mind drift back, he could still remember Brian's smile. That secret smile he would only smile at him. It had made him feel like he was the only guy in the world. And his embrace, he had always felt so safe in Brian's arms.

Kian snapped himself out of it. That was then, this was now.

He was with Nicky now. He WAS over Brian. Kian got out of bed and ignored the voice inside of him that kept telling him that he still loved Brian.

When Nicky had fallen asleep that night, Kian looked at his phone. Brian's message mocked him, he had thought about him all day, the US they used to be.

Kian wanted to message him back, but he was scared to do so. Finally, he talked himself into it, they had been friends once and messaging a friend was ok, right?

“Hi stranger” Brian's heart pounded in his chest. He couldn’t believe that Kian had responded.

“Yeah, it’s been a while but we're hardly strangers.”

“I guess not, so how have you been?” Brian wanted to tell Kian that he hadn’t been and wasn’t ok without him, but he didn’t.

Kian's hands were shaking; it was all coming back to him now. Brian's kisses, his touch, his laugh, his body against his own, their amazing sex. 

Nicky turned around in his sleep. Kian prayed that he wouldn’t wake up.

The following week, Kian and Brian were constantly messaging each other.

It had started out innocently enough, just 2 old friends catching up, but slowly old memories of them creeped into their conversations.

They both still remembered everything, every high and every low. By the end of the week, Brian couldn’t hold it in any longer, he HAD to tell Kian how he felt about him.

“I really miss you, Ki.”

“I miss you too Bri.”

“I think about you all the time,” Kian gasped at Brian's words, he read them again and felt a smile spread across his face.

“I think about you a lot too.” Now Brian was the one gasping, his heart sang. Maybe just maybe their story wasn’t over yet.

“Fuck it, I’m telling him” Brian said out loud to himself.

But his hands couldn’t help but shake as he typed the words. “I still love you”

Kian started shaking. He couldn’t believe it. Brian still loved him. Last week he could have sworn that he was over Brian but now, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He felt Nicky's hand on his neck and quickly put his phone away.

“Hey babe” Nicky said and smiled at him.

Oh Nicky, he was so amazing, and Kian loved him so much. But deep down, he knew that he had never stopped loving Brian.

Brian cursed at himself. Why the hell did he tell Kian that he still loved him? It was too soon and now Kian would properly run for the hills. He had definitely scared him away now. After an hour of no response from Kian, Brian was convinced that he had blown it.

Kian spend all day trying to convince himself that he loved Nicky and only him. It wasn’t working and he finally gave up.

He was so torn, Brian was his past, Nicky was his present but which of them would be his future?

As he typed out the words

“I never stopped loving you Bri” he knew that he couldn’t deny it any longer, Brian could possibly be his future again as he had been once.

The next morning Kian's phone beeped.

“I really wanna see you, when is your next day off?”

“I wanna see you too but we don’t have a day off the next couple of weeks, we're still touring.”

“Then how about I come to you, would be nice to see the other lads too.”

Kian froze; he couldn’t let Brian come on the road with them. If he did, Brian would find out, about him and Nicky. He had wanted to tell Brian everything about them so many times now, but he just couldn’t. And he couldn’t tell Nicky that he had been messaging with Brian all week.

 _You've dug yourself into a hole now, Egan_ he thought to himself and sighted.


	6. Chapter 6

The next week and month went by so slowly, Nicky and Kian weren’t very good at keeping a low profile, every time they could, they touched, kissed, or interlaced fingers and it hurt Shane every single time.

Mark kept his promise and was there for Shane when he needed his shoulder to cry on, even though it hurt him every time. It was a weekly occasion now that Shane would call him all choked up in tears and needing a friend ASAP.

Then after 3 months something happened to Shane, Mark could sense a change in his mood, and he didn’t needed his shoulder to cry on almost every day now, it looked like it got easier now for Shane to cope with the fact that Nicky was Kian’s and not his.

So now he just hoped that Shane’s heart was beginning to heal. So maybe he could get a chance to make him happy after all.

One night when they had sat in the hotel bar all 4 of them together for the first time in a long time and had some pints, Mark followed Shane to his room.

“So how are you coping with Nix and Ki now” Mark asked him carefully.

“I still sometimes have a hard time with it, but it gets easier day by day, but I’m happy as long as he is happy, I don’t think I would ever forgive Ki if he was hurting him.”

Mark nodded “I’m glad that you feel that way, you do look happier now”

Shane smiled his brightest smile at him, one that reached his eyes this time, it had been a long time since Mark had seen that smile from him. They walked further in silence till they stood outside his door.

Shane looked at Mark and held his gaze

“Thank you, for begin there for me you’re an amazing friend, wanna come in and have a pint? My minibar is still full”

“Yeah it can’t hurt with one more can it?” he said and followed Shane into his room.

When they got inside Shane found two pints’ in the minibar and gave one to him, Mark looked at him “Thanks Shay”

They sat for a while and just enjoyed the pint. Then out of the blue Shane said.

“You know I’m still thinking about the night when we got drunk” Mark froze

“You are?”

“Yeah, I can remember bits here and there”

“Like what?” he asked low.

“Your soft lips against mine, the way you fucked me with your fingers”

Mark licked his lips. “I remember that too” he said low.

“But mostly I remember the feeling of your cock inside me.”

Mark gasped by his word.

“I thought that you couldn’t remember much from that night?”

“It all came back to me about two weeks ago”

“I must have been more drunk than you, cuz I can only remember your soft lips and my fingers fucking you”

Shane stood up and walked over to Mark he held his chin, then his lips found Mark’s. He kissed him deeply, Mark sighted when he felt Shane’s lips leave his again.

“Don’t do this to me, if you can’t follow through with it, I still like you a lot” he whispered gently to him

Shane brought his mouth close to Mark’s ear and then he whispered to him.

“I want to do it again with you, I want you Mark” 

Mark gasped and then he crushed his lips against Shane’s, their kisses quickly intensified, and it wasn’t long before they both moaned loudly.

Shane’s cock tightened against his jeans and it didn’t get better when Mark stroked his cock “Fuck Mark” he gasped

They began to tear at each other’s clothes, and it wasn’t long before they both gasped for air. Shane ripped Mark’s pants off and when he saw his big cock, hard and already leaking, fill his boxers out he licked his lips, he ever so slowly took them off him and when his mouth surrounded Mark's cock Mark couldn’t hold back the loud moan that escaped him.

“Fuck…….Shay……don’t…….stop” Shane smiled and continued to suck him, when Mark started to breathe superficially, he stopped and crawled up to him, gave him a loving kiss and whispered to him “your turn”

Mark didn’t needed to be told that twice, he took off Shane’s boxers, he licked his lips as he saw his hard cock and slowly he took it in his mouth, he started to suck him hard, now it was Shane’s turn to moan loudly;

“Fuck…. Mark……so.…good……don’t…. stop…. now” he sucked him harder and harder, and then he stopped.

“Turn around” he whispered to him, Shane did and then he felt Mark’s fingers around his hole, Mark slowly let one finger in, and then two. Shane moaned “Fuck Mark just as I remember”

Mark removed his fingers from Shanes butt and asked him hoarsely “Where do you hide the lube?

He gasped “Top drawer” Mark stood up from the bed, “be right back babe” he said, he quickly found the lube and a condom, then he returned to the bed, he kissed Shane deeply and asked him;

“Are you sure about this babe?”

He nodded “I’m sure Mark” he smiled at him.

That was all Mark needed to hear, he rolled on the condom, Shane took the lube from him and squeezed a good amount out on the condom, and he slowly rubbed Mark’s cock while he spread the lube.

It was more than Mark could handle so he turned Shane around, he needed to be inside him now. He placed his cock at Shane’s hole and slowly entered him, Mark saw stars by now, he was glad that he was sober this time so he could remember it in the morning, fuck he felt good, Shane cried out with pleasure “Fuck…..Fuck…..Fuck” he chanted.

When Mark was fully inside him, he stared to thrust back and forth, slowly speeding up. Shane was seeing stars, this was way better than he remembered.

“Ohh fuck babe take me harder” he moaned

Mark set the pace and took him hard.

“Fuck Shay, you feel so good, don’t……know……. how…. long…. I…. can…. last” he moaned loudly now.

Their moans got mixed with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the faster he pumped in and out of Shane, Shane took his hand and lead the way to his hard cock, he knew that with just one touch from Mark he would come hard.

Mark barely stroked his cock and then Shane came hard, his load got spread all over the sheets and some of it on Mark’s fingers. When Shane came Mark couldn’t hold back any longer and he too came hard. Their breathing was heavy and fast.

Mark pulled out he was still seeing stars, that had been so amazing, he rolled on to his back and took the condom off, Shane tucked himself beside him.

“Mmm Marky that was amazing and way better then I remembered” he kissed him, and Mark kissed him back.

“Shay my god that was so wonderful” he said and held him tight, then he got quiet.

“Babe is there something wrong?” Shane asked him worried

He shook his head “No babe, it’s just that I have dreamed of this for so long and now you’re finally mine, I can’t believe my luck.”

Shane held him tight “You were there for me when my life was low, and now you will be here for me when my life slowly gets better and better, I really like you Mark, I hope we will be together for a long time”

Mark smiled fondly to him “I hope so too Shay, I really hope so" They kissed and fell fast asleep that night. 


	7. Chapter 7

Four months into their relationship, Nicky had a weird feeling; something was going on with Kian.

He was always on his phone smiling away but when Nicky came near him, he would put the phone away, almost in a panic.

What the fuck was he hiding?? There was a change in his affection too, some days he was all over him, like he couldn’t get enough.

Other days Nicky would only get good morning and good night kisses.

It was very confusing, and Nicky had had about enough. They needed to talk.

That night, when they were finally alone, Nicky confronted Kian.

“Babe, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Kian's voice cracked.

He was scared, had Nicky found out about him and Brian??

“Well, you’re always on your phone, smiling away. Who are you chatting to?”

“No one, just a friend” Kian tried to sound convincing, but Nicky wasn’t buying it.

He knew Kian well enough to be able to tell when he was lying.

“Bull, you’re lying. Just tell me the truth please”

Kian sighted and took a deep breath.

” It’s Brian,” he whispered.

“Brian?? Mcfadden??” Nicky spat. He felt himself tense up.

“I thought you didn’t have any contact with him anymore”

“I didn’t, until 3.5 months ago; he reached out to me on Insta”

Kian couldn’t look at Nicky, he felt guilty as hell.

“And?” Nicky asked, he had a feeling that there was more to the story and he needed answers.

“And I....still...” Kian hesitated.

“You still what?” Nicky said, he wasn’t sure he would like the answer to that question but there was no turning back now.

A single tear ran down Kian's cheek as he said, “I still love him”

“WHAT?” Nicky yelled. He had to sit down now. What the hell was this??

It all made sense now, Brian was the reason why Kian had been so hot and cold with him.

He knew they had loved each other but their break-up had been awful. Getting over Brian had been so hard for Kian, Nicky had witnessed it first-hand. And now Brian was ruining their relationship from afar.

“Does he still love you too?” Nicky whispered. Kian nodded.

 _Fuck you Mcfadden, he's mine now, you had your chance and you blew it_ Nicky thought to himself. He sure wasn’t giving Kian up without a fight.

“Does he know about us?” Nicky hissed through gritted teeth.

“No” Kian said and hung his head.

He could tell that Nicky was angry and hurt. Why had he let this happen? He felt like the biggest scum of the universe.

“Alright, here's what gonna happen, either you tell him about us, or I will” Nicky said.

Kian just nodded; he knew Nicky was right. He had to be honest with Brian too. Nicky sighted and sat down next to Kian.

Kian still had his head down.

“Look at me please” Nicky said. Despite everything, there was so much love in his voice.

When Kian's eyes met Nicky’s, he could see his pain.

“Do you still love me?” Nicky held his breath, afraid of the answer.

“Yes, I do” Kian said and fell into Nicky's arms. A part of Nicky wanted to push Kian away, but his heart told him otherwise.

He loved Kian so much and he couldn’t let him go.

But he needed to talk to someone about this, he needed to talk to Shane, he hoped that they were still good friends. Especially now when Shane and Mark were together, they had been a couple for 1 month, but Nicky had no one else to turn to…….he looked at Kian.

“I need to get my head straight, I'm gonna take a walk”

Kian nodded and Nicky walked out the door.

He went two floors down and then he knocked on Shane’s door, Mark opened

“Hey Nix, what are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to Shay in private, its important” he said with pain in his voice

Shane knew that when Nicky sounded like that, he really needed a friend, so he looked up from the paper he was reading

“Let him in babe” he said to him and Mark stepped aside. Nicky entered, he just stood there, like he didn’t knew what to do.

Mark went over to Shane. “Call me later babe” he said and kissed him.

“I will babe, right now I think that Nix really needs a friend” he said low to Mark so Nicky didn’t hear him.

Mark whispered to Shane “It must be bad when he comes to you” Shane nodded and then Mark left.

When Mark was out the door Shane stood up

“Hey Nix, long time since we have had a talk, what’s going on?”

“It’s Ki” he said and then tears filled his eyes

Shane instant felt sorry for him and walked over and gave him a hug “Hey schuss, tell me what’s going on?” he said and followed him to the chair.

“Ki still loves Brian……” Shane sat still “Mcfadden?” Nicky nodded

“How, why? What’s going on here Nix?”

Nicky told him everything all about their highs and lows the past 4 months, how Kian would hide his phone and lie to him, he also told Shane that he had confronted Kian that evening, and then he finally had admitted that he still loved Brian, but he loved Nicky too, and now Nicky didn’t knew what to do, he was so scared that he would lose him to Brian, and right now he just couldn’t do that.

Shane let him cry and then he said.

“Nix I can’t tell you what to do, but if you love Ki fight for him, don’t let Brian take him away from you”

Nicky nodded “Thanks Shay, I really appreciate it” he said and gave his friend a hug.

“Anytime Nix, just come here if you need to talk alright?

“I will Shay thanks again”

Nicky left and Shane messaged Mark

“We really need to talk about this”

Mark was there seconds later and then Shane told him everything that Nicky had just said.

Mark was as much in shock as Shane had been, and they could only imagine how Nicky felt right now, so deeply in love and then his lover dropped a bomb like that. This couldn’t be easy for him.

They sat in silence for a while and then they decide to grab dinner somewhere. They both knew that what was gonna happen with Kian and Nicky would have an effect on them too, they didn’t talk about it but they both thought the same thing.

They both knew deep down that there would not be a Mark and Shane in the future if Kian broke up with Nicky.

Cuz deep down Mark knew that Shane still loved Nicky. He couldn’t blame him, their connection had always been there. Fans had called them Shnicky for many years. It was clear to see that they cared for one another.

Shane knew deep down that he still loved Nicky, it was a love that he just couldn’t turn off, for god’s sake. They had been in each other’s lives for 20 years now.

Why did Kian fuck it up now!? Now, when Shane was finally happy again, he just knew that the more time he would spend with Nicky, the more he would fall for him again, and who was to say that Mark could save him again?

Shane shook the thought of him and looked across the table. Mark smiled at him, beautiful caring Mark, the one who had showed him how to love again, he just couldn’t break his heart right now, so he decided to take it one day at a time and see where it would lead to.


	8. Chapter 8

Kian's hands trembled as he called Brian, He tried to get a grip, cuz he knew he had to do this.

Brian needed to know about him and Nicky.

When Brian answered, he sounded so happy.

“Hey babe.” Kian swallowed. He knew Brian wouldn’t be happy much longer.

“Bri, I need to tell you something, cuz I haven’t been totally honest with you……. I’m not single”

Brian couldn’t breathe, this wasn’t happening. Kian had a boyfriend, that was just what he needed right now.

“What the hell…. Ki! Now you tell me this. Couldn’t you have told me that ages ago?”

“I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. I love you both. It’s so fucked up, I’m sorry Bri”

“Sorry isn’t good enough!” Brian spat; he was so angry he couldn’t believe this.

He took a deep breath and made a decision. He sure wasn’t going to give Kian up now! They were meant to be, and he would do everything to make Kian realise it.

That other guy, no matter who he was, was gonna be sorry. This was war.

“Oh, and it’s Nicky” Kian whispered.

“NICKY, FUCKING NICKY?” Brian yelled.

“I’m sorry” Kian whispered again

“Yeah whatever” Brian said and then he hung up on Kian.

 _Why the hell did Kian fall for him?? That’s it, ttiny Byrne, you’re going down_ Brian thought.

Kian fell back in the chair, that was it, the secret was out now. He felt a little relieved but only for a second. He was a terrible guy; he was hurting Nicky and he was hurting Brian. He didn’t deserve any of them. Kian had never felt worse.

Brian was furious, Kian had lead him on for months, with Nicky, stupid tiny Byrne.

Brian had no idea what Kian saw in him. Then he got a thought, he wasn’t gonna just sit back and do nothing, that was for sure.

A quick google search gave him the answer he needed, they would be at the O2 tonight and so would he…….

Brian got in his car and speed down the highway.

When Brian arrived at the arena, he went to the backstage entrance. He recognised the security guy.

“Hey Scott"

“Hey Brian, good to see you”

“Can you let me in please? I wanna surprise the lads”

“Yeah sure, go ahead” Scott said and stepped aside to let Brian pass.

 _They fucking will be surprised_ Brian thought.

Backstage Brian passed loads of familiar faces, but he didn’t stop to talk to any of them. He was on a mission, to find Nicky and fuck him up!

Shane couldn’t believe his eyes, Brian was there. He walked up to him and said

“Hey Bri, how are ya?”

“Not now Filan” Brian spat. “Where is Nicky?”

“I don’t know, why?” Shane felt nervous, Brian looked like he could commit murder and honestly Shane was a little scared.

Seconds later Nicky came around the corner, Brian's eyes burned. There he was stupid Byrne. Nicky looked surprised, what the hell was Brian doing there?

Before Nicky could say anything, Brian stood in front of him and held up his fist.

He wanted to punch Nicky, to take all his anger out on him. Nicky was so sure that Brian would hit him in the face, that he ducked and closed his eyes.

Brian was so much bigger than him and Nicky would never have a chance in a fight with him. But then Brian stopped himself.

What was the point of hitting Nicky? It wouldn’t change anything; it wouldn’t heal his heart.

Brian's fist stopped mid-air and he looked defeated.

Nicky opened his eyes he had not been hit, he looked down and there on the floor was Brian, he was hiding his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry Nicky...I just…. fuck…. look...this isn’t your fault” Brian said low and started to cry.

Nicky didn’t know what to do. He knew exactly how Brian was feeling cuz he felt the same way. They both loved Kian.

Nicky dropped to his knees in front of Brian.

“Don’t be sorry, I’ve wanted to punch you in the face too for weeks now” he said and tried to laugh.

Brian couldn’t help but chuckle through his tears.

“Fuck Egan huh?”

“Yeah, damn him” Nicky said and got up.

Kian came back from the bathroom. His heart jumped when he saw Brian. What was he doing here?

Kian didn’t like this at all, he had a bad feeling now. A part of him wanted to leave but he knew he had to face Brian...and Nicky.

Shane saw the fear in Kian's eyes; he couldn’t help but feel a bit happy. Kian was so getting what he deserved now.

“Hey Ki” Shane said.

Brian and Nicky froze. There he was, the main reason for their pain and their happiness.

Kian's mouth was dry he didn’t know what to say.

Finally when he could form a sentence, he asked, “What are you doing here Bri?”

Brian dried his eyes and looked at Kian.

“I actually came to beat Nicky up, but he's not the bad guy here. You are.

Kian sat down; he knew Brian was right. He should never have let this happen. He was in too deep now.

“I know and I’m so sorry, I really am, I never meant for this to happen. I love you both, I can’t choose right now, but in a perfect world I would be with both of you.” Kian sighted.

Brian and Nicky looked at each other. That was differently NOT going to happen. Nobody said anything for a while.

Shane hated this. To him, it was a no brainer. Nicky shouldn’t have to wait for Kian to choose, he should just leave Kian now and be with him.

He wanted to shake Nicky and tell him, but he didn’t.

Instead he said

“Bri, maybe you and Ki need to spend some time alone?”

Nicky looked at Shane with eyes that could have killed him. What the hell was Shane doing?

“No” Nicky spat. Shane could see the pain in Nicky's eyes.

“Nix you want Ki to choose, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do” Nicky whispered.

“Then he needs to be alone with Bri, to see what they have together, you know I’m right Nix” Nicky nodded.

As much as he hated the thought of Kian being alone with Brian, he knew that Shane was right.

Before they knew it, it was ShowTime. None of them enjoyed it, the situation affected them all.

Brian waited backstage for them.

He really hoped that Kian wanted to spend time with him that night. But Kian couldn’t, not tonight.

He needed to talk to Nicky first.

When they got back to their room, Nicky was so exhausted, and he just wanted to cry.

Kian cleared his throat. “Nix can we talk?”

“Sure” Nicky said. He was not looking forward to this.

“I know you’re not ok with me spending time with Bri but”

Nicky cut him off.

“Of course, I’m not ok with it, I hate it. I hate everything about this.” Nicky was in tears now.

Kian's heart broke; he couldn’t stand seeing Nicky like this.

“I have to do this; you know I do. I’m sorry.”

“Are you really, Ki?”

“Of course, I am. I love you” Kian whispered.

“You have a funny way of showing it” Nicky hissed.

Kian walked over to Nicky and hugged him. But Nicky pushed him away.

“Don’t touch me Ki” Nicky yelled. He couldn’t do this; he had to get out of there.

“I’m leaving, I can’t do this, and don’t you dare follow me” Nicky spat and walked out.

He walked straight to Shane’s room, Shane got a bit surprised when he opened the door and saw Nicky standing there

“Nix, what are you doing here, I thought you and Ki needed to talk this through?”

“I can’t talk to him now, Bri is on his mind, I can see it in his eyes……I HATE THIS, AND I HATE YOU” Nicky yelled now, he was hurt.

“Easy Nix, I’m sorry I suggested it, but he can’t choose between the two of you before he has spent some alone time with Bri too”

Nicky broke down; Shane took him in his arms

“Schhh Nix, you know I’m here for you no matter what”

He sobbed “I know Shay, but I still hate you for suggesting it”

Shane just held him close till he was calm again

“You can sleep here tonight, and then talk to Ki tomorrow if you like?

“Thanks Shay that would be nice”

That night would be the first of many where Nicky would come to Shane to cry because Kian couldn’t or wouldn’t choose between them.


	9. Chapter 9

Shane sighted when he looked down on the couch next to him. Nicky was laying there fast asleep, he had finally stopped crying again. It was a weekly thing now.

Him and Kian fighting again and then he came running to Shane to cry.

Shane had admitted to himself that he still had feelings for Nicky, and it didn't make it any better that he had to comfort him whenever he was sad.

 _Fuck Nix just leave him, he's no good for you anymore_ Shane thought.

He had put up with this for most 3 months, and now he couldn't take it anymore.

In the morning he needed to have a chat with Nicky about everything.

He knew it would be tough to tell him that he just couldn't do this anymore that he really needed Nicky to choose.

Weather he would still be putting up with Kian and their weekly fights or leave him.

If he once again chose Kian, then Shane had to tell him the whole truth, that he still had feelings for him and that he couldn't and wouldn't be his shoulder to cry on anymore.

He needed to do it, even though it was hurting him badly.

 _Fuck Nix why him and not me?. We are perfect for each other. God, I love you so much, I can't keep seeing you get hurt llike this anymore._ He thought and put a blanket over Nicky before he gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Nicky sighted in his sleep "Shay, my Shay" he said. Shane's heart skipped a beat and tears formed in his eyes, this was too hard now, he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't just be his shoulder to cry on, he wanted to be his lover and it was up to Nicky to make the right choice this time. Kian or him.......

He knew that he had to tell Mark about it too, he was after all his partner, they had been a couple for 4 months now, he loved him, but he didn’t love him the way he loved Nicky.

It was all so hard and he regretted every day that he had said he would just take one day at the time, Look where it had lead too, here he was deeply in love with Nicky again, and again he kept losing him to Kian.

Shane's phone beeped; it was Kian.

“Is he at your place?”

“Yeah, he's here, fast asleep” Shane replied.

“Ok, thanks” Kian responded.

Shane felt anger building up inside him, he wanted to tell Kian off, to tell him that he was being a terrible boyfriend and that Nicky deserved better.

But he decided against it, this was a battle Nicky needed to fight on his own. Instead he wrote

“He cried himself to sleep.... again.”

Kian didn’t respond. He knew he had hurt Nicky again. Why did he have to be so torn between the two of them?? And why did he have to be so mean when they fought? They had been so happy once.

Those days were gone now, none of them had been happy for a long time. But they still loved each other, and that love was why neither of them could walk away right now.

Kian threw himself on the bed.

Tomorrow he would apologize to Nicky and hope that he would forgive him...again.

Nicky woke up the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, he stood up and walked out in the kitchen Shane was standing by the stove and cooked some breakfast

“Morning Shay” he said

Shane turned around and smiled at him

“Morning Nix”

Nicky took a deep breath, when he saw that warm and gentle smile, he got butterfly in his stomach

_Oh Shay, your smile makes me weak”_

He shook the tough off him, no he was still with Kian, and Shane was still with Mark.

“Mm it smells good, as always when you cook Shay” he smiled at him

Shane got butterfly in his stomach as always when Nicky smiled at him like that.

“Breakfast is almost ready now; you can set the table”

Nicky did and then they sat down to have some breakfast

Shane began talking “So, are you feeling better today?”

Nicky nodded “Yeah, thanks again for letting me crash on your couch”

“Anytime Nix” They ate in silence before Shane said.

“I really hate myself for asking you this” Nicky looked at him “What?”

“Do you really think that you’re doing the right thing with Ki?

He looked at Shane; “Sometimes I ask myself that question too, but I love him Shay”

“I know you do, but you know, sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep a relationship going”

Nicky nodded and then his phone rang

“Hi Ki, yeah I have slept alright, yeah I miss you too. I know that you don’t want to hurt me, but it’s freaking hard to share you with your past, when it keeps creping up on us. I’m coming home later, and I really hope you have a good explanation, I don’t know how long I can keep up with this.”

He hung up; Shane felt defeated again.

“So, you’re forgiving him again? He asked

“I’m gonna try to work out, so yeah you can say that”

He stood up “Thanks for breakfast Shay”

He walked to the door then Shane called after him

“Nix wait, I’m sorry I said that it’s just that….” he scratched his hair….” God why is this so hard” he sighted

Nicky looked at Shane “Shay what’s wrong?”

Shane walked over to Nicky and held his gaze; he took his hand “Nix…. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore, it’s just too hard that you come here every time you and Ki have had a fight, I can’t be your shoulder to cry on anymore…..I love you Nix”

Then he kissed him, in the beginning it was hesitant but when Nicky kissed him back, he couldn’t control it, he deepened the kiss and their tongues danced with each other, they both moaned until Nicky interrupted the kiss.

They were gasping after air.

“Shay, I…. we…. fuck…. we can’t do this we both have a partner”

Shane felt the air being knocked out of him again

“Nico, I can’t lie to myself anymore, you mean too much to me”

“You mean a lot to me too Shay, but right now I just can’t leave Ki, I still love him.”

He nodded; Nicky held his gaze “plz understand”

“Gosh Nico, I’m trying but it’s freaking hard to only be your shoulder to cry on, I want more, I want you, all of you”

Then Nicky did something that Shane wasn’t expecting, he leaned in and kissed him.

“God Shay your lips are so soft” he whispered against them as Shane kissed him back “So are yours” they parted and smiled at each other.

And they both knew that from now everything would change between all four of them.


	10. Chapter 10

For 3 months now, Kian had been torn between them. It had been the longest 3 months of Brian and Nicky's lives. They had both desperately tried to get Kian to choose between them, but he just couldn’t.

It was killing them, neither one of them knew how much longer they could do this.

Brian couldn’t understand why it was so hard for Kian to choose.

And Nicky, he was about to give up, he wasn’t happy at all. Kian and him were fighting a lot and it always ended the same way. Nicky would drive off, to Shane's house and crash on his couch. At least there he felt safe and loved.

Brian woke up and turned around. He had expected Kian to be there, but the bed was empty. He called out “Ki?”

“In the kitchen Kian yelled.”

Brian got up and walked slowly to the kitchen. “Morning” they both said.

“Coffee?” Kian asked.

“Sure” Brian said and as he took the cup from Kian, he held his hand. For a second their fingers intertwined and their eyes locked. Kian smiled and felt a tingle all over his body. Then he remembered Nicky's call from earlier. He was on his way.

He quickly let go of Brian's hand and said.

“Nix is on his way, he crashed at Shay's house last night...again.” Brian felt himself tense up with the mention of Nicky's name. He hated this; he didn’t wanted to "share" Kian with Nicky anymore. If only Kian would choose soon.

Brian's heart sank.

“So, you’re basically kicking me out?” Brian looked so sad and Kian hated it.

“Come on Bri, don’t be like that. This sucks for me too, you know.”

“OH yeah, it must be SO hard to be dating us both” Brian hissed.

“First of all, I’m not dating both of you; I’m only dating Nix” Kian spat.

Brian felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

“Fine, but then you're just fucking both of us” Brian yelled.

He knew how guilty Kian felt about that and he wanted to hurt him.

“GET OUT” Kian hissed.

“Fine, I’m going” Brian spat.

He got dressed and grabbed his phone. He thought about tossing the used condom in the trash on his way out. But then he decided against it. _I fucking hope tiny Byrne finds it;_ he thought and slammed the door behind him.

Brian speeded down the road. He wondered if he had blown it with Kian now. A car came towards him, his eyes met Nicky’s. He smiled at him; he wasn’t gonna let him see how defeated he felt.

He thought back to last night, it had been mind-blowing.

As Kian had opened the door for him, he had grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the couch. Seconds later Kian was on top of him, panting and grinding away. He had kissed him with such lust and hunger that Brian was hard instantly. Soon their clothes were flying everywhere, and Kian had begged him to fuck him, till he was seeing stars and till he couldn’t remember his own name.

Brian wanted him so much, he had hammered into Kian with such force that Kian almost fell off the couch. Kian’s moans still rang in his ears.

“More Bri more fuck me harder” Kian had yelled. Brian kept fucking him and Kian was going out of his mind.

“What’s your name?” Brian cried out.

Kian could barely speak but managed to whisper “Kiiian.”

“Are you sure about that?” Brian had asked and then he had hammered deep into Kian. He had thrusted in and out of him over and over again

“I said, what’s your name?” Brian gasped.

“Kii....I don’t know, I don’t know.” Kian was panting by now. He wanted to come so bad, but he also didn’t wanted Brian to stop. Minutes later, they both came. They had laid in each other’s arms afterwards, riding high on the orgasms. When they fell asleep, they were holding hands.

As Nicky turned around the corner, on to Kian’s road, a car passed him. Brian’s smile beamed at him from the other car.

 _Great_ , Nicky thought.

Kian greeted him with a hug and a kiss as he walked through the door. Nicky reluctantly returned the hug and kiss, but all he could think about was, that Brian had been there.

Maybe Shane was right, maybe he should just walk away from Kian. He looked at Kian and his heart sang. He knew he loved him; he couldn’t leave him. Not right now.

Why the hell did he have to love him so much???


	11. Chapter 11

Nicky sat down on the couch, he sighted. He felt so out of place, Kian’s house used to feel like home to him, but it didn’t anymore.

Kian sat down next to him. He was fighting an inner battle with himself; he had crossed the line last night with Brian and he wanted to tell Nicky. But he was scared to lose him, so he kept his mouth shut.

They sat in silence for a while. Nicky finally spoke

“Was Brian here last night?” He whispered. Nicky knew the answer to that question, but he wanted to hear it from Kian.

Kian took a deep breath and said

“Yeah, he was here” Kian felt so guilty now, he was an idiot, he shouldn’t have cheated, but it was too late now.

“When are you gonna choose, Ki?” Nicky said and looked at Kian. “I can’t do this much longer, you know.”

“I know but it’s not that simple, babe.” Kian's words broke Nicky, this was torture.

Suddenly Nicky felt very tired and he just wanted to sleep. At least when he was asleep, he didn’t feel pain. He stood up and said.

“I’m gonna go lie down for a bit, I’m exhausted.”

Nicky sat down on the bed; he was so unhappy. Why did he stay and allow Kian to continue to hurt him? Nicky put his phone on the nightstand and then he froze.

What the hell was that?

“KIAN!!!” Nicky yelled at the top of his lungs.

Kian came running. “Yeah, what’s with the yelling Nix geez” Kian said.

Nicky’s face was burning, and his eyes were dark.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” Nicky spat and pointed at the used condom.

Kian knew he couldn’t lie his way out of this.

“Ehm...I... Nix...” Kian's words were failing him.

“YOU SLEPT WITH BRIAN, DIDNT YOU?” Nicky was furious, he couldn’t believe this.

Kian hung his head; he didn’t say anything.

“DIDN'T YOU?” Nicky kept yelling but he felt the tears forming in his eyes.

“Yes, I did.” Kian whispered.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!” Nicky hissed as the tears started to fall down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Nix, it just happened.”

“Bullshit, you let it happen.” Nicky had stopped yelling, he felt broken.

“You cheated on me, Ki! I can’t forgive you for this! You went too far.”

Kian knew that Nicky was right, cheating was the worst betrayal.

Nicky broke down now, Kian wanted to comfort him, but he knew that no words or hugs could make him feel any better.

Nicky took a deep breath and said

“I’m breaking up with you; I can’t be with you anymore, not after this.”

Nicky couldn’t even look at Kian, but he knew that he was doing the right thing.

“No, please Nix, don’t do this. I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again, please don’t leave me” Kian begged and started to cry. He was so scared now, he couldn’t be without Nicky, he just couldn’t.

Kian grabbed a hold of Nicky's arm, but Nicky had made up his mind.

“Let go of me” he said and got up. “It’s over, Ki”

Nicky got in his car and drove around for a bit.

He was crying so hard that he could barely see the road. He was trying to wrap his head around it all. He couldn’t believe that Kian had allowed this to happen.

 _I hope you’re happy now, McFadden, you win_ Nicky thought and tried to dry his eyes. But the tears kept running down his cheeks, he had never felt so broken ever.

Before he knew it, he was parked outside Shane's house.

Shane had seen Nicky's car pull up and he wondered why Nicky was back so soon.

Nicky’s hands were trembling now; he could barely open the door. As he got out of the car, his knees gave in and he almost tripped.

Shane ran out to him, he was scared, what was wrong with Nicky?

He supported Nicky all the way up the driveway and into the house.

Nicky’s entire body was shaking now, and he was crying uncontrollably. As they got to the couch, Nicky fell into Shane's arms. Shane was terrified.

 _What was going on?? What had Kian done now??_ Shane had a million questions, but he could tell that Nicky was in no state to answer any of them right now.

Slowly Nicky stopped shaking but the tears still fell.

“What happened, Nico?” Shane whispered.

“Ki....slept.... with...Bri” Nicky said through his tears.

“Oh no” Shane said low. He felt rage built up inside him. _FUCKING EGAN_ , he thought to himself.

He hated Kian for this, it was unforgivable.

“And...I... broke...up...with...him” Nicky sobbed. Shane’s anger went away, for a second. He had wanted to hear Nicky say those words for so long now but not like this.

“I’m so sorry Nico but you did the right thing” Shane said, he hugged him and held him tight.

He knew that the months to come would be the hardest months of Nicky's life, but he was determined to not let him go through them alone.

Kian threw his phone away; he had been phoning both Nicky and Shane nonstop since Nicky walked out.

Neither of them had answered him. Fuck, he had blown it now. He hated himself. He would forever remember the look on Nicky's face when he had said that it was over between them. He had no doubt that Nicky meant it. And he didn’t blame him, cheating was the deal breaker.

Suddenly his phone rang, it was Shane. Kian quickly answered it. But before he could say anything Shane screamed down the phone

“STOP CALLING, HE’S FUCKING HEARTBROKEN!” Then Shane hung up.

Kian hung his head. Now Shane hated him too. Kian didn’t know what to do. He was numb.

Brian's phone beeped.

“Nix knows we've had sex”

 _Good, serves him right!_ Brian thought to himself.

He had wanted Nicky out of the picture for a while now. He knew that his happily ever after with Kian could not begin until then.

However, the next text from Kian left Brian speechless.

“He’s ended it, it’s all over” Brian was shocked; he couldn’t believe that Nicky had actually done it. He smiled and grabbed his car keys. But his smile faded when he read Kian's next text.

“I’m not doing so well, can you come over?” Brian's heart sank.

Of cos Kian wasn’t ok; he did love Nicky after all. He knew that what Kian needed most right now was a friend, nothing more and nothing less. As he got in his car, he promised himself (and Kian) that he would be that friend. They had their entire lives to live happily ever after, it could wait.

“I’m on my way, be there in 10” he wrote back and then he drove off to Kian’s House.

When Brian got there, he could tell that Kian had been crying...a lot. Kian fell into Brian's arms and then his tears fell again. Brian let him cry, he didn’t say anything. There were no words needed.

Kian spoke through his tears

“I can’t believe this, I’ve lost him. I’m such an idiot”

“Hey if you’re an idiot, then so am I” Brian said. “I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. So, I’m as guilty as you are"

“No Bri, cuz you didn’t cheat, I did”

“And I let you cheat...so there”

“What do I do now?” Kian asked and hung his head.

Brian touched Kian's chin and made him look up.

“I think the real question is what do you want to do now?” Brian said and looked intensely at Kian. Seconds later Kian kissed him, Brian kissed him back for a bit but then he stopped the kiss.

“No Ki, now is not the time, you need to get over Nix first.” Kian was out of breath from the kiss, but he knew Brian was right. He did need to get over Nicky. But he had no idea how. He wasn’t even sure that he actually wanted to get over him.

None of them spoke for a while. Then Brian finally said

“Look Ki, I love you and I do want us to be together...someday. But I came here to be your friend, that’s what you need right now, while you heal. I know you love Nix, that doesn’t just go away. Trust me; I know what I’m talking about”

Kian sighted.

“Yeah you’re right. I’m sorry about the kiss, I shouldn’t have. I’m just...so broken right now. He won’t answer my call and when Shay finally answered my call, he screamed at me. So, I’m pretty sure they both hate me”

“They don’t hate you Ki, give them some time. You fucked up, they aren’t gonna forgive you just like that, but I’m sure they will forgive you eventually”

Brian’s words were comforting, and Kian felt a bit better.

“Thanks, Bri, you’re a good friend” Kian said and smiled at him.

Brian had to look away, that smile took his breath away. Maybe this friend thing wasn’t gonna be as easy as he had hoped.

Shane sat on the couch and starred at the TV; he didn’t see the program his mind was a mess. He looked down, Nicky’s head was on his lap.

Nicky’s tears had dried out for now and he was finally asleep.

 _My god Nico, why did he have to hurt you so much? You really deserve so much better than that scum Kian Egan._ Shane thought.

He found his phone he needed to text Mark, they should have been on at date that evening but that wasn’t going to happen now, not when Nicky needed him the most.

“Hey Babe, I’m sorry but I can’t go out tonight; Nicky is lying here on my couch and he desperately needs a friend right now”

“Ok babe what happened?

“Long story short, Ki has cheated on him with Brian, and then Nicky broke up with him, he’s devastated, he could barely walk when he came back here again, his legs were trembling and his whole body was shaking, he was crying more than I have ever seen him cry before”

“Oh babe, that doesn’t sound good, you’re right he definitely needs a friend right now, we will find another evening, night night XX”

“Yes we will babe, night night, XX”

Shane smiled at Mark’s kisses in the text, he loved him, he had saved him when he was down, but he knew that he had to break up with him soon, and he dreaded it. He knew that Mark would be heartbroken. But his heart belonged to Nicky and after their kisses earlier, he knew he couldn’t live without him.

Mark sat still, he knew deep down that him and Shane would be history soon. He couldn’t compete with Nicky; Nicky had a big place in Shane’s heart and if he looked at it from the outside, they were perfect for each other. He couldn’t deny that. He sighted and said to himself.

“Take it one day at a time Mark, and be there for Shay when he needs you, you can’t do anything else now”

Shane slowly moved Nicky's head from his lap before getting up. He wanted to find a blanket for Nicky, so he didn't freeze tonight, but he never found the blanket before Nicky called.

"Shay, Shay where are you?" his voice trembled

Shane rushed back to him "Shhh Nico I'm here"

"Oh Shay, I thought you had left me"

"No, I just wanted to find a blanket for you, but maybe it’s better if you sleep in my bed? So, you're not alone?" But you decide that yourself " Shane said cautiously

"I really want that Shay, it might help me sleep tonight, thank you" he smiled at him, it was his smile, THE smile that always made Shane's heart beat faster.

He reached out a hand to Nicky.

"Come on, let's go to bed and we can talk tomorrow"

Nicky nodded and took his hand.

As they laid in bed, they looked at each other, Shane gently took Nicky's hand again.

"This feels nice ........... And right" Nicky whispered

"Yes, it does, Nico" Shane whispered at him.

They held each other's gaze and at the same time they leaned against each other. Their lips met in a long and heartfelt kiss, this time it was different than the one they had shared that morning. This kiss was much more tender, when their lips parted again, they smiled at each other.

"I really love you Nico" Shane sighted.

"I know that Shay, but right now I need a friend" Nicky whispered.

Shane nodded "I know you need a friend now and I'll be there for you, you just need to know that I'll wait for you until you're ready" Nicky kissed him again

"Good night Shay and thank you for being here for me"

"Good night Nico I will always be here for you” Nicky smiled at him and quickly fell asleep.

_Forever and always Nico, forever and always. For the rest of my life if you will let me. My Love._


	12. Chapter 12

When Nicky woke up the next day he looked around, he was a bit confused about where he was until he turned in the bed and felt a pair of strong arms hold him tight. He looked to the side and saw Shane peacefully sleeping with a smile on his face.

 _My god Shay, you’re so beautiful. I feel so safe here._ He thought

Shane stirred in his sleep and whispered “Nico, my Nico” Nicky smiled and thought _Why have I never noticed you like this before?_ and then he gave him a kiss on the cheek to wake him up.

Shane opened his eyes and starred right into Nicky’s blue depts.

“Morning Nico” he smiled widely at him. Nicky’s heart sped up.

“Morning Shay” he smiled back, and Shane’s heart sped up.

They leaned against each other and their lips met in a passionate kiss, when they kissed it was just as tender as yesterday and they both felt that they belonged to each other.

“Just stay in bed Nico, I’ll make some breakfast for us” Shane said

Nicky smiled at him “If you say so Shay”

He looked at Shane as he walked off to the kitchen, then he laid back on the pillow with a huge smile on his face. _Shay, my Shay I think I might be falling for you already._

His thoughts got interrupted by his phone, it beeped to tell him that he had a new message; he took the phone and looked at the screen. He almost dropped his phone when he saw who the text was from.

When Kian had fallen asleep that night, Brian was still wide awake. Kian had begged him to stay the night as he really didn’t wanted to be alone. So, there they were, in Kian's bed. Things were much different this time. The last time they had been in bed together, they had been lovers. Now they were friends.

Brian's entire body was struggling, it wanted more than that, but Brian knew that it was too soon. But he did still hold Kian tight as he slept. Brian sighted, he had to be patient. And he had to help Kian as much as he could.

Even if it meant that he had to reach out to Nicky. He knew how important it was to Kian and he knew in his heart that he would do anything for him.

The next morning when Kian was in the shower, Brian found Nicky's number in his phone. He wanted to call him, but he was pretty sure that Nicky would hang up on him. With trembling hands, he started to text him instead.

He really didn’t wanted to do this, but he did it for Kian.

“Hey Nix, its Brian 1st of all I wanna tell you how sorry I am... for everything. It was never meant to end this way. I know you don’t like me much, but I was thinking that maybe you and I could talk someday? For Ki's sake, I know it would mean a lot to him.”

When Nicky read the text, his instant reaction was rage.

“How dare you Bri, I never wanna see or talk to you again” Nicky typed, but when he was about to press send, his heart sank. He couldn’t do that, not to Kian.

Nicky swallowed his pride (and rage) and deleted the text. Instead he wrote

“Alright but I’m NOT doing this for you. I’m doing it for Ki. And I’m really mad at you!”

“Thanks Nix. And you can be mad at me all you like. I'm mad at myself too” Brian was relieved; at least Nicky was willing to meet with him. That was a start after all, but he was not looking forward to it.

Nicky sighted; he wasn’t sure that meeting up with Brian would do either of them any good. But it was important to Kian so........

He got up and joined Shane in the kitchen. Shane hugged him and held him tight. Nicky thought about not telling Shane about Brian's text. He had a feeling that Shane wouldn’t like the idea at all. But they had always told each other everything and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Shay, Bri just texted me”

“Oh really, what the hell did he want?” Shane felt angry just hearing Brian's name.

Nicky showed Shane the text.

“You said no, right?” Shane said, he didn’t think that Nicky owed Brian or Kian anything, let alone meeting up.

“Scroll down” Nicky said.

When Shane saw Nicky's reply, he felt scared. _Was Nicky going to forgive Kian and god forbid get back together with him??_ Shane felt ill.

He couldn’t let that happen. He had waited so long for Nicky and it finally felt like he would be his.......soon.

Kian wasn’t gonna win, not this time! That was for sure.

“Why did you agree to this Nico?” Shane asked, his voice a bit raised.

“Because we can’t stay enemies forever Shay, it would ruin everything including the band. And I don’t wanna be the reason for that. We’re all adults and we gotta be able to talk this through”

Shane understood that but he still feared that the love Nicky and Kian had shared would blossom once again.

“Besides, I’m not meeting Ki, it’s just Bri. I’m not ready to see Ki again, not yet” Nicky said and looked at him.

Shane looked like he was about to cry.

”What’s wrong, Shay?”

“I... just...I just don’t wanna lose you Nico, not now, not ever” Shane whispered.

“Hey, hey, you’re not gonna lose me. I’m not going anywhere” Nicky said and kissed Shane with so much passion that Shane felt weak.

When they parted Shane said, “You promise?”

“Yes, I promise, and I swear it all over again” Nicky said and smiled.

Shane laughed.

“I love you, my sweet goofball.”

“Then don’t just stand there and look at me, why don’t you kiss me again” Nicky said, and Shane pulled him in for another kiss.

Nicky just wanted this day to be over. He had dreaded it for a week now. As he grabbed his car keys and kissed Shane goodbye, he wished that Shane would beg him not to go but he didn’t. Shane hated this, but he knew it had to be done.

Shane walked around his house it felt so empty without Nicky, he had stayed there the last week and now he had driven off to meet Brian to see if they could have a talk, Shane still didn’t like the idea.

However, he had his own relationship to think about too and today Mark would stop by, Shane had invited him over to have a talk, about everything.

He knew he had to end it with Mark, he just didn’t know how to, and he feared Mark’s reaction. All of this could mean the end of the band and their friendship if they couldn’t work it out, so he hoped and prayed that Mark would understand.

Mark took a deep breath before he knocked on Shane's door, he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like the talk with Shane today.

Shane opened the door, he smiled at Mark and pulled him in for a hug but nothing more

“Come in babe, have a seat on the couch then I’ll find a pint for ya”

He nodded and sat down as Shane disappeared out in the kitchen, when he returned, he gave a pint to Mark and took one himself.

They sat for a while just enjoying the pints before Shane said

“Babe we need to have a talk, I have not been the best boyfriend this last week, and we both know why. I feel awful and I can’t keep doing this to you” he took a deep breath

Deep down Mark knew what the next words out of Shane's mouth would be, but he waited for Shane to say them.

“Mark I……. I need to break up with you……I love you……but….”

“But not as much as you love Nix” Mark finished the sentence for him, he was hurt.

“Mark…..please don’t hate me……I really love you and I owe you bigtime…… you picked me up when I was down, you showed me what love was again, and I’m forever grateful for that, but I just can’t have a relationship with you” His voice trembled and he almost cried

“Mark I can’t hold on to you…… Not when I love Nico the way I do, he has my heart, he’s the one I just know it” Shane was crying now.

Mark looked at Shane, he could see that it really hurt him to do this.

“Are you two a couple now?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper

Shane shook his head

“No, we haven’t talked about that, Nico still needs a friend, I just don’t want us to end up like the 3 of them did, with everything they have been through. I just can’t do that to you Mark, I can’t, and I’m already in too deep with my feelings towards Nico again”

“Have you slept together? Mark asked

“No, I could never do that to you Mark, never I’m not a cheater.” He said loudly

“But I need to admit that we have kissed” he whispered

Mark nodded and sat for a while just thinking, Shane sat still, he didn’t say a word.

“I can’t say that it comes as a surprise Shay, I have seen it coming I just didnt think it would happen already, I’m not happy about this, I still love you, you know”

Shane nodded “I know Mark, I know”

He took a deep breath and then he said

“I’m properly going to regret saying this…..but Shay I really hope that you and Nix will be happy together, it’s clear to everyone on the outside to see what you mean to each other, you just need to realise it yourselves…….. And Shay I don’t hate you, I could never do that” 

He looked at Mark and felt relieved

“Thank you” he said, “Still friends?”

“Still friends Shay” Mark smiled to at him.

“Thanks for the pint Shay, and good luck with Nix, you two really deserve each other” He said before he said goodbye and left. His tears started to fall as he sat in the car, he really loved Shane, but he could never hate him, they just weren’t meant to be. He drove home and called Cailean.

Nicky pulled up outside Brian's house. Before he got out of the car, he took a deep breath.

“Here goes nothing” he said to himself and walked up to the door.

Brian opened and he could tell by the look on Nicky's face that he was dreading this just as much as he was. Seconds later, they sat on the couch in silence.

Nicky was getting more and more angry and when he finally spoke, he was yelling.

“YOU SLEPT WITH MY MAN! THAT WAS REALLY LOW!” Brian hung his head.

“Yeah, you’re right, I did but he started it”

“AND YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT” Nicky spat, his face was red, and he was holding back his tears. He didn’t wanted to cry in front of Brian.

“I’M FUCKING FURIOUS BRI!”

“And you should be, I was an ass and I’m really sorry” Brian knew that he could say I’m sorry a million times and it still wouldn’t make it any better.

“WE ARE NOT FRIENDS AND WE NEVER WILL BE AGAIN.” Nicky couldn’t stop yelling; he was so angry.

“It would mean a lot to Ki if we could get along” Brian whispered.

“FUCK HIM, I DON’T OWE HIM ANYTHING. I’M EVEN MORE MAD AT HIM, DONT BRING HIM UP AGAIN, OR I SWEAR I’M GONNA LEAVE”

“Nix stop yelling” Brian said.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” Nicky screamed.

“Maybe this was a mistake” Brian said low.

“Look Nix, I get it, you’re angry and hurt. You have every right to be, I don’t blame you. But are you seriously gonna hate me forever? Can’t you sit down and talk to me please? Without any yelling” Brian begged.

Nicky took a deep breath and sat down. He was still angry, but yelling wasn’t doing him any good.

“What is there to talk about Bri? It is what it is.” Nicky said, his voice was low, and he felt defeated.

“Do you just expect me to forget everything that has happen? I can’t do that”

“No, I don’t expect that, but I really don’t want you to hate me. We were friends once, remember?”

“We're not friends anymore Bri, I’m serious”

“Alright, I hope you'll change your mind someday”

“I won’t, goodbye Bri” Nicky got up and left.

As he drove away, he thought _This was a HUGE mistake, Shay was right all along._

When Nicky got back to Shane's house, he was still furious.

“Son of a bitch” he hissed and threw his car keys on the table. He called out for Shane.

“Shay, where are you?”

“In the kitchen” Shane answered and dried his tears.

Nicky stormed into the kitchen.

“I shouldn’t have gone; it was a BIG mistake” he spat. When Shane turned around, Nicky’s anger disappeared. He could tell that Shane had been crying. Instantly he rushed over and hugged him.

“What’s wrong, Shay?” He whispered. Shane could feel the tears forming in his eyes again.

“Mark was here, I invited him over. To break up with him” Shane sobbed and cried onto Nicky's shoulder.

“OH” Nicky said he was a bit shocked. “I'm sorry that you had to do that Shay”

“It had to be done but it still hurts” Shane whispered.

“Of cos it does” Nicky whispered back and held Shane tight. When Shane had stopped sobbing, Nicky asked how Mark took it.

“He wasn’t surprised, said he had seen it coming. He handled it very well, but he was hurt for sure” Shane said and sniffled.

There were still a couple of tears on his cheeks, Nicky wanted to make all of Shane's pain go away and his heart broke for him. He reached up and dried Shane's tears away.

Shane grabbed Nicky's hand; he wasn’t sure what to do next. Nicky made the decision for him as he kissed him gently.

Shane felt his entire body react to the kiss, so he deepened the kiss and started to pull at Nicky's belt. Nicky knew what Shane wanted. He wanted it too but now was not the time. He pulled away from Shane and said

“Shay, we shouldn’t, you just broke up with Mark, beside we have plenty of time, I’m not going anywhere, remember?” Shane was a little disappointed, but he knew that Nicky was right.

“Yeah...you’re right...sorry” he whispered

“Hey, it’s ok, I tend to have that effect on people” Nicky said and chuckled.

“Alright Mr. Ego” Shane said, he couldn’t help but smile.

 _Damn baby you always know how to make me smile_ Shane thought.

Nicky took a deep breath. Shane’s smile melted his heart. He knew he wouldn’t be able to resist him for long.


	13. Chapter 13

Kian had been restless and nervous ever since Brian left. He really hoped that his talk with Nicky would go well. But knowing Nicky and how hurt he had been when he found out about the cheating, Kian feared that it wouldn’t.

When Nicky left, Brian sighted

“That couldn’t have gone any worse” he said out loud. He picked up the phone and called Kian. He quickly answered.

“How did it go?” Kian's voice was trembling. Brian took a deep breath; he knew that this would break Kian's heart. But he had to be honest with him.

“It was the worst” Brian began. He told Kian everything, he could tell that Kian cried

“I’m so sorry sweetie. I tried but he is still so angry and hurt. Maybe it was too soon”

“Yeah maybe” Kian said through his tears.

“Listen I'm coming over in 10 mins ok?”

“Yes, please I need you” Kian sobbed.

“I'm all yours” Brian said and chuckled.

“Thank god” Kian whispered. Brian smiled, he loved Kian so much. And he needed him too.

As soon as Brian got there, Kian fell into his arms and cried and cried. He held on to Brian so tight. Brian hated to see Kian this way, he felt so helpless.

Suddenly Kian's lips were on his, it took Brian by surprise.

“Wow, wow sweetie…. relax” Brian gasped. Kian kept kissing him, he was frantic by now.

“Kiss me Bri, kiss me” Kian panted.

“I... want to...but it doesn’t feel right….... you’re so vulnerable I don’t wanna take advance of your pain” Brian whispered.

Kian stopped kissing him.

“Dammit Bri, why do you have to be such a good guy?” Kian was almost yelling.

“So now I’m a bad guy for doing the right thing?” Brian said.

“No” Kian sighted and sat down. “It's just...I really need you to kiss me and touch me...I just can’t do this hands-off thing anymore” Kian hung his head, he was a bit embarrassed.

Now Brian felt bad. Truth be told, the hands-off thing had killed him, but he really thought that he was doing the right thing. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Brian sat down next to Kian. He took Kian's hand and squeezed it. Kian looked up; he was confused now. Brian smiled and said, “Get over here”

Kian climbed onto Brian's lap. Then Brian kissed him long and hard. Kian’s body was trembling, this felt so right.

“My god, I’ve missed you” Kian said in between kisses.

“I’ve missed you too”; Brian said and let his tongue dance in Kian's mouth. Their kisses intensified; there was no turning back now.

“Touch me, touch me” Kian moaned and pulled his own shirt off. Brian’s hands were on his chest even before Kian's shirt had hit the floor. His fingers danced on Kian's skin and set shivers down his spine.

Kian was desperate now; he needed to touch Brian too. Brian gasped as Kian ripped his shirt off and ran his fingers all over his chest. Their lips found each other again and they both moaned.

“I want you” Kian whispered. “Take me please.” Brian was out of control now, he wanted Kian too, so badly.

Within seconds they were both naked, lying on top of each other. Their cocks were stiff and hard as stone. Brian reached for Kian's cock and Kian moaned as Brian started stroking it. Kian was going out of his mind.

“Yes...yes...don’t stop...fuuuuck....” Brian kept stroking Kian's cock. He could tell that Kian was close now. Suddenly Kian moved his hand away.

“Turn around” he said panting. “I wanna come inside you” Brian turned around and when Kian hammered into him, Brian almost came.

“OH my god Ki, yeah fuck….... fuck….me… harder….” Brian moaned loudly.

Kian kept fucking him, wild and fierce. He wasn’t gonna last much longer. Brian screamed Kian's name as he came hard, Kian quickly followed. They collapsed onto the couch and gasped.

“That....was...unbelievable...” Brian said. “Yes...yes it was” Kian whispered. When their breathing was back to normal, Kian said.

“Hands off is cancelled, yeah?”

“Hell yeah” Brian said and smiled at him.

“Good” Kian said and smiled back at him. He knew that he would be alright, as long as Brian was his.

The next month passed by quickly, Nicky was almost never home in his own house anymore, he had also slowly started to move some of his belongings into Shane’s house. He couldn’t help it, it just felt so right to be under the same roof as Shane, he felt so safe and loved there. He knew that his heart was almost healed now, the heartache he had felt when he found out about Kian and Brian was slowly and steady beginning to be replaced with love for Shane, he had been so patient with him, comforted him when he needed it the most.

He had a huge smile on his face whenever he thought about him, and every time Shane smiled at him he got butterflies in his stomach and his heart speeded up into overdrive _Is it possible for me to already be in love again, isn’t it too soon?_ He thought as he walked around in the house, he stepped into the living room. Shane was occupied by some work on the computer, and when Nicky saw him sitting there, he just wanted to walk over to him and kiss him like his life depended on it. He looked away and tried to get his mind under control.

Shane looked up and saw Nicky standing and leaning against the wall, he smiled. Nicky didn’t see it as he looked elsewhere _Thank god he’s looking away right now, I can’t concentrate when he is looking at me, I want him so badly now._

He had observed a change in Nicky’s mood when they kissed and laid in the bed in the evening. He hoped that it was a good change, that it meant that his heart was healing. He detached his gaze from Nicky and looked at the computer again.

Nicky looked at Shane again, he was now struggling with himself, weather or not he should go over and kiss Shane wildly and heartily and drag him into the bedroom, or just give him a little kiss on the cheek like he always did.

His mind was quickly made up when Shane looked at him and smiled, they held each other's gaze. And in no time Nicky was standing beside Shane, he pulled his chair out and pulled him up, so he was standing. Shane looked a bit surprised at him. Then Nicky kissed him wildly, Shane was taken by surprise; he had never felt that need in Nicky’s kisses as he did now. He slowly opened his mouth and their tongues danced as Nicky deepened the kiss.

They only let go of each other’s lips to breathe

“Oh Nico” Shane panted.

“Shut up and kiss me Shay” Nicky panted back.

Their lips crashed together again and then Nicky began to tear at Shane’s shirt, he couldn’t resist him anymore, he needed him. Shane got the hint and took off his shirt before he began to tear at Nicky’s too. He quickly got out of his shirt too, their fingers ran down each other’s chests and they both shivered by the other’s touch, Shane pulled Nicky in for another passionate kiss as their hips collided they both moaned loudly. Shane could feel Nicky’s hard cock against his own and he unbutton his jeans. Nicky quickly got out of them, Shane looked down and he licked his lips just by the sight of Nicky's hard cock against the thin fabric of his boxers.

“I want you Nico” Shane crooked

“I’m all yours Shay” he said and kissed him again. He quickly got Shane’s jeans unbuttoned, he broke the kiss and slowly took them off him, his hands caressed Shane's legs all the way down, Shane stepped out of his jeans quickly.

Nicky was still on his knees he kissed Shane's thighs, close to his cock, he stayed in that area kissing him, without getting closer.

Shane moaned low now "Fuck Nico"

Shane cried out with pleasure when Nicky finally kissed his hard cock outside his boxes, he started to caress him, and Shane moaned louder now "Nico"

Nicky loved the sound of Shane moaning his name but he wanted more. He took off his boxers and just the sight of Shane’s cock was enough to make Nicky harder than he already was, he just had to taste him.

Nicky panted "Stand still Shay" before he took his cock in his mouth and started to suck him.

It took Shane by surprise when Nicky’s hot and wet mouth surrounded his cock, but not long after he screamed

"FUUUCK NICO, DON'T STOP ....... OH FUCK"

He sucked him wilder and harder, Shane moaned loudly now

"NICO ...... I ........ FUCK ....... SHIT ....... I'M .... GONNA COME”

With a final suck from Nicky, Shane came hard, Nicky swallowed it all and licked him clean.

Shane dropped to his knees "Fuck ...... Baby ....... Nico ...... that was the best"

Nicky smiled at him, Shane’s lips found his and this time it was Shane who kissed him wild and fierce. Nicky had never been more turned on in his life as he was right now.

“Shaaayyyy” Nicky panted in-between kisses. Shane’s hand found Nicky’s hard cock and he caressed him but he was still wearing his boxers.

“Mmm Nico, think we need to get you out of these tight boxers” Shane said and took them off him. When his cock was free, Shane stroked him lightly up and down before he pushed him down on his back. He took his hard cock in his mouth, _good god he tasted just as good as he looked_ he sucked him harder and harder. Nicky’s breathing got superficial and he panted.

“SHAY……FUCK……I’m not gonna last long if you keep doing that” He moaned

Shane stopped and looked at him then he crawled up to him.

“We can’t have that” he kissed him again and then he whispered “I need you inside me, I need to feel you, I need you to fuck me hard, I need you to fuck me so hard, that I’m not capable of walking tomorrow” Nicky gasped at his words

“Then turn around so I can fuck you hard” he said harsh to him.

Shane did what he was told, Nicky quickly found a condom and rolled it on, he positioned himself behind Shane and then he hammered hard into him, Shane screamed his name

“NIIIICCCKKYYYY”

He thrusted harder and harder and it wasn’t long before Shane was hard again, he wanted to fuck Nicky hard after this.

Nicky got harder and wilder and Shane could feel the carpet burning his knees, but he didn’t care Nicky was fucking him like he had only dreamed about.

His moaning increased “NICO MY NICO, FUCK ME HARDER” Nicky speeded up, he couldn’t hold back anymore, and he came hard.

They got their breathing under control and then Nicky pulled out.

“Fuck Shay, that was intense”

“Mmmm” was the only thing Shane could say. He turned around and took Nicky’s hand; he placed it on his own hard cock.

“I want you Nico, I want to fuck you”

Nicky smiled at him “Are you sure you can handle more?”

“Oh god yes”

Nicky turned around and Shane found a condom. He was slow and gentle at first, but he quickly speeded up, Nicky was soon moaning his name and just before Shane came, he stroked Nicky’s cock and they both came hard this time.

When they had gotten their breaths back again, Shane looked lovingly at Nicky

“I have waited so long for you Nico, and now you’re finally mine” Nicky kissed him and looked lovingly at him too

“Thank you for waiting for me Shay…… I love you”

Shane smiled and kissed him; Nicky had finally said it, those 3 little words that meant so much to Shane.


	14. Chapter 14

The day after their first time together Nicky said to Shane

“Babe, I gotta go and do something today. Something I should have done a long time ago”

He sighted and took a deep breath.

“I need to apologize to Bri for my behaviour the last time we met.”

“Yeah, I understand that honey” Shane said and smiled at him.

Hours later, Nicky was in his car on his way to Brian's house. When he got there, he froze for a second. Kian's car was parked outside. _Oh man, that’s what I get for showing up un-announced I suppose,_ he thought to himself. He hadn’t seen or had any contact with Kian at all, since the day he broke up with him. He had to see him eventually and he guessed that now was as good a time as any.

He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Inside Brian was making breakfast and when he heard the doorbell, he yelled

“Could you get the door babe, I’m making breakfast”

“Sure” Kian yelled back. Kian opened the door and gasped.

“Nix” he whispered.

“Hi Ki” Nicky said and tried to smile. Kian was frozen to the spot. He could barely think or form a sentence. He hadn’t seen Nicky for so long. _My god, he is still beautiful_ Kian thought and shook his head.

“Can I come in?” Nicky asked.

Kian snapped himself out of it and said

“Yeah, sure” They went into the living room and sat in silence. None of them knew what to say.

Kian finally cleared his throat and said

“How are you?”

“I’m good...now. But I wasn’t for a long time Ki. I was pretty messed up, to be honest”

“Yeah, so was I” Kian whispered.

“Who was it babe?” Brian said as he walked from the kitchen to the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Nicky sitting on the couch.

 _Fuck, what’s he doing here? He better not yell at me again_ he thought.

“Hi Bri” Nicky said and smiled a tiny smile at him.

“Hi Nix, what are you doing here?”

“Well...I came to talk to you. I feel like I owe you an apology for the way I acted when we met up months ago. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and I’m really sorry”

“Oh, that’s ok. Like I said back then, you had every right to be angry. I properly would have yelled at you too if the tables had been turned. But I appreciate you apologizing, that's really big of you”

“Thanks Bri, so are we alright?”

“You tell me, you were the one who said we weren’t friends anymore remember?”

“Yeah, I did say that, and I meant it at the time. But I don’t anymore. I want us to move on from this, can we do that?” Nicky held his breath; it was now or never.

“I can, if you can” Brian said and smiled at him. Nicky sighted, he felt so relieved.

“Hug it out?” Brian said and laughed.

“Sure” Nicky said and laughed too.

As they hugged Kian started to cry. It was happy tears, all he wanted was for Brian and Nicky to get along and right now he felt like that wish had come true. As Kian sniffled, Brian rushed to his side.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked worryingly.

“I’m happy, these are happy tears” Kian said and smiled. “It means so much to me that you guys can get along” He said through his tears.

“Aww babe” Brian said and hugged him.

Nicky couldn’t help but smile too. Then he had a thought, maybe he should talk to Kian as well. He hadn’t planned on talking to Kian today but now that Kian was here, he might as well do it. He took a deep breath and said

“Ki, I still think what you did was wrong but like I said, we all need to move on. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I forgive you”

Kian broke down now; he had been so scared that Nicky would never forgive him.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you” Kian repeated with tears running down his face. He felt more than relieved, and he really wanted to hug Nicky. But he wasn’t sure that it would be appropriate. Nicky then asked, almost like he had read Kian's thoughts

“Hug it out?” And then he smiled at him.

“Absolutely” Kian said.

There they were, 2 ex-lovers who had destroyed each other, hugging it out. Brian blinked away a few tears; this was his wish coming true.

“Hey, I just made breakfast you want some?” Brian asked.

“Breakfast…. It’s 12.30 man” Nicky said. Brian and Kian shared a smile.

“Yeah let’s just say that we pulled an all-nighter” Kian said and winked at Brian.

“You were differently pulling at something” Brian said. He laughed and ducked avoiding a slap from Kian.

“Alright guys, too much information” Nicky said and laughed too, as the laughter died out, Kian spoke.

“I... talked to Mark the other day...he told me that Shay broke up with him...”

“Yeah, he did” Nicky said and took a deep breath.

“Is he alright?” He asked low.

“He will be, you know how it is” Kian said.

“Yeah been there, done that” Nicky said and hung his head.

“Did he break up with Mark because of you?” Kian asked. He knew it was none of his business, but he was curious, and he also wanted to know if Shane and Nicky were a couple now.

“Yeah” Nicky said. He wasn’t proud of it and his heart went out to Mark. He knew exactly what Mark was going through right now. He had gone through it too, not too long ago. And it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

Kian took a deep breath and asked the question that he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer to.

“Are you and Shay together?”

Nicky's eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across his face. He got butterflies in his stomach, just thinking about Shane.

“Yes, we are” _(finally)_

 _“_ Oh, someone's in love” Brian said and chuckled.

Brian’s words rang in Nicky's ears. _Omg, he's right. I am in love with Shay_ Nicky thought. He hadn’t realised it until now. He closed his eyes for a second and saw Shane's smiling face. Kian got up and left the room.

Brian and Nicky chatted away for a good 15 minutes. Kian still hadn’t come back. Nicky was starting to wonder why.

“Is Ki alright? He's been gone a long time now” Nicky said.

“True, I’ll go find him” Brian said. He found him in the bedroom, lying on the bed, starring up at the ceiling. Brian sat down next to him.

“Are you alright babe?”

“I don’t know honey, I guess it just took me by surprise that they're together now” Kian said and closed his eyes. Brian could tell that Kian was trying really hard not to cry. He didn’t like this one bit.

“Why?” He whispered.

Kian took a deep breath and when he finally spoke, the tears ran down his face.

“I really loved him, with all my heart. And he loved me too. It’s just hard...that he doesn’t anymore”

“Do you still love him?” Brian whispered, he was scared to hear the answer.

“I'm always gonna love him” Kian said and looked at Brian.

“But I love you more”

“Are you sure?” Brian was holding back the tears now.

“Yes, I'm sure” Kian said and kissed him lightly. “You’re the one honey”

Brian hugged him and said “You're the one for me too babe. It has always been you”

As they kissed again, Brian's tears started to fall. He wanted to believe Kian; he really did but deep down he just couldn’t.

“Babe I think we need to have a talk, about Nix” Brian said, but there was no response. Kian was deep in thought again.

“Babe?” Brian said a big louder. Still no response.

“KIAN!”

“What, what?” Kian snapped.

“We need to talk babe” Brian took a deep breath and said

“You're not over Nix, are you?” Kian hung his head.

“No, I'm not. I thought I was, but I was wrong. I'm sorry”

Brian didn’t know what to say or do. _I can’t believe this_ he thought.

Kian was crying now; “Please honey, don't leave me, I just need more time. I'm so sorry” Kian fell into Brian's arms.

Brian was crying too now.

“I'm not going anywhere, take your time. I'll wait for you forever babe, I love you so much” Brian sobbed.

“Thank you, I love you too” Kian whispered.

As their tears dried out, Brian said.

“You know, Nix is still here. We should properly get back; we’ve kinda left him hanging”

“Yeah, let's go back” Kian said. When Brian and Kian came back into the living room, Nicky could tell that they had both be crying.

“Are you guys alright?” He asked with such worry that Kian almost cried again.

“Yeah we are, or we will be in time” Brian said and sighted. Kian hung his head; he couldn't look at Nicky. His eyes and his beauty broke Kian's heart.

“Ki, what’s going on?” Nicky asked, he was very worried now.

“I.....I'm...still...not over you” Kian whispered as tears ran down his face.

“What?” Nicky spat; he was shocked.

“It's just.... we loved each other so deeply” Kian sobbed.

“Yes, we did” Nicky whispered.

“I'm always gonna love you Nix” Kian said and broke down. He hid his face in his hands. Nicky grabbed Kian's hands and said, “Ki look at me please” Kian looked up “Look, our love was real and I will always love you too. I mean it Ki. But...we weren’t right for each other. We don't belong together. Deep down, I think you know that. Don’t you?”

“Yes” Kian sobbed. Nicky hugged him. He did still care for Kian, but..........he wasn’t Shane.

As Nicky drove home later, he thought of Shane. His heart sang and his smile got wider and wider, the closer he got. His Shay, he couldn't wait to hug him and kiss him again. When he walked through the door, Shane rushed out from the living room.

“How did it go?” he asked and prayed that it had gone better than the last time.

Nicky walked up to Shane. He looked intensely at him and Shane could barely breathe. When Nicky kissed him, Shane’s knees went weak.

“I love you, my Shay” Nicky said and deepened their kiss. There was so much passion in the kiss and Nicky lost control. He started pulling at Shane's hair and threw his groin at his. Shane reached for Nicky's pants, he wanted him so much.

“Not yet baby” Nicky moaned. “Just keep kissing me” They kissed for several minutes and Shane couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Honey....please” he whispered.

“Yes....yeah.... take me” Nicky whispered back.

Shane took Nicky's pants and boxers off. Nicky was so hard, his cock stood up proudly. Shane moaned at the sight and grabbed it. He started stroking it and Nicky began twisting around.

“Please…put it in your mouth……. please baby” he whispered. Shane didn’t needed to be told that twice and when Shane's mouth swallowed all of Nicky, his knees gave in and he went down. Shane didn’t care, he continued sucking his cock. Nicky put his hands on Shane's head and helped him. He was so close now.

“Aaarrggghh.......don’t stop…...keep going….... baby.......fuck.... yes” Seconds later, Nicky came so hard. Shane's mouth was full but not for long, he swallowed it all and smiled at him.

Nicky's entire body was shaking, his orgasm rushed through him still. Shane laid down next to him and let him catch his breath again. He took Nicky's hand and their fingers entwined. They smiled at each other.

Nicky finally spoke

“Your turn now baby, it's only fair” he chuckled.

“No” Shane said.

“No?” Nicky asked 

“I just wanna be fucked……. fuck me hard honey” Shane whispered.

Nicky’s cock became hard again at the thought of fucking Shane.

“Your wish is my command” Nicky said and smiled.

He flipped Shane over and hammered into him shortly after. Shane panted away, it felt so good.

“Yes...yes...yes...fuck me...oh baby…. harder...harder...” Shane could barely speak now.

Nicky was so deep inside him; he had never been that deep inside anyone before. He kept going, harder and harder. They were both close now and as they came together, they screamed each other’s name. When their breathing was normal again, Shane said.

“So..... baby, are you gonna answer my question from earlier?”

“Oh yeah, long story short, it went good...I’ll tell you all about it later” Nicky said and kissed him deeply.


	15. Chapter 15

Mark looked to the side and he smiled. He thought back to last night, it had been so wonderful, they had a great date and when they had walked home to Mark’s house, they had held each other’s hands. As they stood outside his door, Mark didn’t wanted the night to end, so he had invited him in for another pint. He had smiled and accepted the offer, they had continued talking and before they knew it, time had gone by fast.

Mark had offered him his spare room, where he could crash for the rest of the night. But he had declined, instead he stood up and walked over to Mark, he had kissed him deeply and said

“Babe, I’d prefer to sleep in your bed with you” he had winked at him and that had sent shivers throughout Mark’s body, his cock had instantly reacted to it.

“Oh yeah, so how much sleep do you think that we’ll get?” Mark had asked, his mouth was dry.

“Hopefully, none” and then he had kissed him again “lead the way”

They didn’t get much sleep that night.

His smile became wider, and he kissed him on the cheek

“Morning Cailian”

“Morning babe” he said and smiled at him, “Thanks for last night, it was well worth waiting for you”

“Mmmm it was” Mark kissed him again……”so babe?” he said

Cailian nodded “I like you a lot Mark. I think that, this can and will be a wonderful relationship if you’ll give it a try with me?” He held his breath and waited for Mark’s answer

“I think that too babe” he said and smiled at him. They kissed passionately and didn’t get out of bed the next couple of hours.

When Cailian drove home later, Mark started to think back on what had happened the last couple of months. It had now been 2 months since Shane had broken up with him, and he was beginning to feel happy again, but it had been tough, and he thanked his lucky stars for meeting Cailian when he did.

He had been there for him, waiting patiently for his heart to heal, and he liked him for that.

He had met Cailian 3 months ago, he was supposed to have been out with Shane that night, but he once again cancelled their date cuz of Nicky. So Mark had decided to hit the nearest pub, it was there, he had fallen into a conversation with him and they had clicked from the start, sharing many of the same interests, but Mark was still in a relationship then, so they had decided to stay in touch as friends, and he was happy about that cuz a month later Shane broke up with him.

Yes, Cailian had been his rock, his shoulder to cry on, and now it looked like he would be a part of his future too. Mark smiled at that thought and he couldn’t wait to see where it would lead to.

He was on cloud nine the rest of the day, Cailian had messaged him as soon he got home, and they had chatted away all day. When the evening came, he missed him a lot. He took out his phone and opened the messenger tread but before he could type “I miss you” the doorbell rang. He opened and there stood Cailian.

“Hey” he said and looked down at his feet

“Hey” Mark smiled at him

They stood and looked at each other a bit before Mark took him by his shirt and dragged him inside, when he was inside, Mark closed the door and their lips hungrily found each other.

“I missed you” Mark said in between kisses

“I missed you too” Cailian said and soon their clothes were flying everywhere, they were all over each other, kissing, touching, exploring each of their naked bodies, they just couldn’t get enough, and soon they both moaned loudly.

Mark dragged him towards his couch and got him turned around, slowly he entered him, they both gasped with pleasure and then he started to thrust faster and faster, he hammered in and out of him.

“Touch me babe” Cailian panted, Mark reached his hand out and found his hard cock, he slowed down and stroked him, his breathing became superficial and he started to moan loudly.

“Fuck babe, Maaark, I……fuck…. oh shit…. I’m gonna cooooome. He trembled and shot his load out over Mark’s hand, and onto his couch. Mark followed shortly after; his orgasm rocked him. He had never felt such pleasure before; he got his breathing under control and pulled out.

He sat down on the couch next to Cailian and kissed him deeply, Cailian looked at Mark

“Sorry babe but I might have made stains on your couch when I came” he said

Mark smiled at him

“Don’t worry about that babe, I’m sure it can be cleaned” he smiled cheekily to him “but maybe we should take the next round in my bed?”

They quickly found their way to Mark’s bed and spend the night naked in each other’s arms.

Kian woke up after a restless night. The bed was empty. He sighted, he hated this. He just couldn’t get over Nicky, he tried daily to not think of him, but he kept creeping up in his head, and in his dreams too. He still felt so much love for him. It had been 6 weeks since he confessed to him and to Brian, but Kian didn’t feel any different.

He didn’t wanted to feel this way anymore.

“For fuck sake Egan, get a grip” he cursed at himself.

Brian had been so patient with him, but Kian knew that he was hurt. He had heard him cry at night in bed more than once. They still kissed every now and then but there was so much sadness in Brian's kisses and in his eyes, Kian couldn’t bare it. He hated himself for doing this to Brian. After about 20 minutes without any sound or appearance from Brian, Kian started to wonder where he was.

“Bri?” He yelled.

“In the bathroom”, Brian yelled back. He dried his tears away and sniffled. He felt so broken, he loved Kian so much and he was still waiting for him. But it wasn’t easy. He felt like he was sharing him with memories, and still sharing him with Nicky. He tried all the time to not show Kian, but he felt it in his heart every day.

Some days he just wanted to leave but he loved Kian too much to walk away. As he came back into the bedroom, Kian looked up from his phone.

 _Oh no, he's been crying again_ he thought and felt a wave of guilt hit him. Brian crawled back in bed and Kian's arms were around him within seconds.

“I’m so sorry, this isn’t fair on you” Kian whispered. Brian took a deep breath, the warm of Kian's body filled his heart. He squeezed him tight and whispered

“I know you’re trying your best but….... it’s not easy” Brian felt the tears forming in his eyes again. Kian loosend his grip on Brian and looked at him. As Brian's tears started to fall down his cheeks, Kian began kissing them away. Brian gasped at the touch of Kian's lips on his skin. He missed him so much.

Suddenly Brian's hand was on Kian's neck and his lips were on Kian's. Kian kissed him back but then he stopped.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked, mostly because he wasn’t sure himself.

Brian hesitated for a second and then he said

“Yes, I am, I need to be close to you, I need to know that you still love me”

Kian smiled and said

“I love you so much” Then he kissed Brian again and soon 2 bodies became one.

The next morning as Brian woke up, he felt a bit better. Last night had been everything he needed. In that moment when they had made love, he felt so deeply that Kian was his and no one else’s. He hadn’t felt that way in ages. He turned around; Kian was still asleep. Brian smiled, god he loved Kian so much. He pushed against his shoulder, he wanted to wake him up, to look into his beautiful eyes and see him smile back at him, but none of those things happened.

Instead Kian stirred in his sleep and mumbled

“Oh Nix”

Brian's heart broke once again. Now he knew that last night hadn’t changed anything. There were still 3 people in this relationship, and that was one too many.

Brian got out of bed, he quickly got dressed. He had to get out of there, he needed to think everything through.

As he sat in his car, he realised that he had no idea where he was going. He drove around aimlessly for half an hour. He tried to ignore the voice inside of him that kept saying _he is never gonna be truly yours._

When he reached Shane's house, he stopped. He was pretty sure that Nicky would be there, and he needed to talk to him.

When Shane opened the door, he gasped. Brian looked like hell, so broken. Instantly Shane's heart went out to him and he took him in his arms. Brian started to cry as Shane led him to the couch. Shane and Nicky shared a look; they didn’t like this at all.

“What’s wrong Bri?” Nicky asked.

“It’s Ki....and you...he's still not over you yet...he even says your name in his sleep....I can’t handle it much longer...I don’t know what to do anymore”... Brian sobbed.

Nicky felt like shit, he hated being the reason for Brian's pain.

“Are you thinking of leaving him?” Shane asked, he hoped the answer would be no.

“I hate to admit it, but the thought has crossed my mind a few times” Brian said and hung his head. “But I love him so much” he whispered.

“And he loves you too” Nicky said.

“I know he does, but I feel like I’m sharing him with you, all over again”

“I’m sorry” Nicky said and hugged Brian.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault Nix” Brian said and buried his face in Nicky's shoulder.

“Well...I’m still sorry...maybe I loved him too much” Nicky whispered.

“Are you totally over him?” Brian asked.

“Yes I am, it wasn’t easy to get over him, but once I did, I realised who my heart truly belongs to” Nicky said and smiled towards Shane. Shane blushed, he had to look away.

“And when he gets over me, he'll realise that his heart truly belongs to you. I know it’s hard but be patient a little while longer Bri” Nicky said and ended the hug.

“It'll be worth it, trust me” Shane said and reached for Nicky's hand. Their fingers entwined as Shane said

“This one right here was differently worth the wait and Ki will be too”

“Thanks, you guys” Brian said as his tears dried out. “I really needed to hear that. I should get back; he doesn’t know I left, he was still sleeping”

They all stood up and walked to the door.

Brian gave them both a hug and thanked them again.

“I love you guys” he said and tried to smile.

“Love you too” Shane and Nicky said in unison. As Brian got into his car, Shane said

“Poor guy, Ki's really putting him through the ringer”

“Yeah and despite everything, he doesn’t deserve all this pain“ Nicky said.

“No, he doesn’t” Shane said and closed the door behind them.

Kian woke up feeling very relieved. He hadn’t dreamed of Nicky for a few weeks now. Actually, he didn’t think of him much either. And when he did think of him, his heart didn’t break anymore.

He thought back, it had been 3 months now, the first 2 months were the worst. Both of them had been broken and Brian had 1 foot out the door. About a month ago, he had finally told Kian that he couldn’t do it anymore. Kian had begged Brian to stay; he was literally on his knees begging him. But Brian still left.

When Kian lost Brian too, he was in a dark place. But as the weeks went by, he realised that it was Brian he missed, it was Brian he truly loved. Slowly he moved on from Nicky. And he hoped and prayed that Brian would take him back.

When Brian left Kian, he was in a dark place too. But he had to walk away from it all. It was killing him to stay.

Until Kian was over Nicky, he just couldn’t be with him. It had hurt him to leave but he had to do it.

Weeks later Kian stood at his doorstep. As he rang the doorbell, he took a deep breath. When Brian opened, Kian almost cried.

“Hi” they both said. Kian couldn’t handle it anymore, and he threw himself into Brian's arms and cried. Brian held Kian tight, he started crying too.

“I love you, only you, there is no one else, please take me back honey” Kian sobbed.

Brian couldn’t believe it, had Kian finally gotten over Nicky?

“Are you sure that you’re over Nix?” He whispered.

“Nix who?” Kian said and looked at Brian so lovingly.

“Good answer” Brian said and chuckled.

Then Kian kissed him, it was a kiss that held all his love for Brian. With that kiss, their past was gone, and their future was sealed.

_1 month later._

Shane grunted as his phone beeped. He tried to untangle himself from Nicky’s arms, to shut the alarm off.

“Babe, we gotta get up”

“No, just 5 more minutes in your arms”

Shane smiled and said “Alright, 5 more minutes then”

5 minutes later Shane’s lips found Nicky’s.

“Your 5 minutes are up babe” Shane whispered in between kisses.

As their lips parted Shane said, “Are you awake now?”

“Maybe a little more than I was 2 minutes ago” Nicky smirked at him and whispered

“Kiss me again”

As their kisses got deeper, Nicky’s phone rang. They reluctantly stopped kissing and Nicky reached for his phone.

“Hey Bri, what’s going on?”

Nicky smiled but his smile faded when he heard Brian’s voice.

“Ki’s not doing so good”

“Is he sick?”

“I don’t know, he’s dizzy and pale and just feeling really bad”

“Alright, it could be his blood sugar. Get him some orange juice and some chocolate”

“Ok I will, I don’t know if he’ll be up for going to the studio with you guys later though”

“We’ll see, call me later ok?”

“Yeah, bye Nix and thanks”

“Bye Bri, tell him we hope he feels better soon”

Hours later they were all heading for the studio. Kian had slowly felt a bit better and he was confident that he could handle a day at work.

As they all arrived and hugged each other, Kian started feeling a little dizzy again, but he tried to shake it off.

It didn’t work though, and as he locked eyes with Shane, who was standing right next to him, he collapsed. Shane caught him and screamed his name. The others came running, they all tried to wake him up but failed.

“Call an ambulance” Mark screamed and started shaking.

When the ambulance came, everything happened very fast. They were all in shock and didn’t hear much of what the paramedics were saying. But 3 words stood out and kept ringing in their ears.

“It’s kidney failure”

A week later the 4 of them were in Nicky’s car heading for the hospital.

“Are you nervous?” Shane asked Brian, hoping that he wasn’t the only one.

“Yeah, very nervous” Brian whispered and tried not to cry.

“Thank god you were a match” Nicky said.

“Yes, thank god” they all said in unison.

As Brian woke up from the surgery, all he cared about was Kian. He turned his head and in the bed next to him, there he was. Kian slowly opened his eyes and smiled a tiny smile at Brian.

“Hey babe, how are you feeling?”

“Much better honey, you saved my life”

“Well you saved mine years ago when we fell in love so it was the least I could do” Brian said and tried to laugh.

Kian tried to laugh too and then he reached out his hand to Brian. As their fingers intwined Kian said

“Thank you for doing this, I love you so much”

“I love you too babe, you’re the love of my life and I sure wasn’t ready to let you leave for heaven just yet”

Kian smiled and squeezed Brian’s hand.

“You’re the love of my life too and because of you, we will never be apart”


	16. Chapter 16

They had now entered the final week of their second leg on their European tour, normally they didn’t tour at this time of the year, but the demand for them had never been as huge as it was right now. So they took it all in and enjoyed the fact that they still had the world and their fans in their hands.

They were now in Paris, the city of romance, they had arrived yesterday extremely late and had been rushed to the hotel. Fortunately they had 2 days off before 3 shows in a row.

When Shane and Nicky had checked into the hotel and found their room, they crashed on the bed and were quickly asleep.

When Shane woke up the next morning, he had a huge smile on his face. Today was a special day, a day that came along once a year and one that he had been there to celebrate so many times, but this time it was different. Today it wasn’t just Nicky's birthday; it was Shane's boyfriend's birthday.

Boyfriend……Shane smiled even wider, he still had to pinch himself sometimes to truly believe that Nicky really was his. He looked down, there in his arms laid Nicky, the love of his life, still fast asleep. Shane almost cried, his heart was filled with so much love for Nicky, it felt like a tsunami.

He reached down and stroked Nicky's chin and jaw line.

“My beautiful Nico, how did I get so lucky?” Shane whispered.

“It wasn’t luck baby, it was love” Nicky said and opened his eyes. He smiled at Shane and whispered, “kiss me” Shane did what he was told, he was never gonna turn down that request...ever. As their lips parted, Shane said

“Happy birthday babe”

“Thank you baby, I don’t mind getting older, as long as I’m with you” Nicky said and smiled at him.

“Aww babe, listen to you, old romantic at heart” Shane said and held back the tears.

“How can I not be romantic? You bring it out in me baby cos I love you so much” Nicky said and kissed him again.

As their kisses got deeper, Nicky climbed on top of Shane. Their bodies reacted to each other instantly.

“Oh baby, I want you so much” Nicky panted.

“Then take me, I’m all yours” Shane whispered.

Nicky didn’t waste any time, his kisses travelled down Shane's chest, to his stomach and past his belly button. When he got to his groin, he stopped. Shane was going out of his mind; he could barely breathe now. Nicky looked at Shane's hard cock, it was throbbing, desperately in need of being touched.

“Fuck baby, you’re hard” Nicky whispered.

Shane panted away “yeah yeah...touch it...please babe...” Nicky took him in his mouth and Shane's entire upper body shot up by Nicky's touch.

“Fuck yeah……. suck me babe...” Nicky took all of Shane in, he gagged on his cock, but he didn’t stop. Shane tensed up; he wasn’t gonna last long if Nicky carried on like that.

“Nico yes…..yes……yes...I wanna fuck you so bad...get up on it....please...” Shane's voice was hoarse and merely a whisper, but Nicky heard him and put Shane's cock inside himself. He had his back towards Shane as he started riding him.

“Lay back down on me” Shane said. Nicky did and as their sweaty bodies touched Shane pulled at Nicky's hair and started thrusting in and out of him.

“Oh my god baby.... yes, fuck me...fuck me…. harder...” Nicky yelled. He grabbed his own cock and jerked himself off too. Shane's hips were working overtime now. He just couldn’t stop. He picked up the pace and fucked Nicky so hard.

“Babe...I’m gonna come...” Shane whispered.

“Yeah...come inside me baby” Nicky panted. Seconds later, Nicky felt Shane's load shooting into him. It felt so good and made him come, all over his own stomach. They both breathed very fast now, Shane held Nicky tight as they both tried to come down from the orgasms. When Nicky was finally able to speak again, he said, “Happy birthday to me indeed” and laughed.

He rolled down from Shane, then he found his lips. He kissed him so deeply and lovingly that Shane lost his breath once again.

“Fuck Nico, I love you so much, words can’t describe it”

Nicky smiled at him.

“You don’t need to describe it for me, Shay, my love. I can feel it in your kisses, your touch and when we make love. I’m so glad that you waited for me, Shay my Shay” he whispered and then their lips found each other again.

They laid in bed for another hour, just talking and holding each other.

“My perfect birthday would be right here in bed with you” Nicky whispered.

Shane was about to say that he couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate Nicky's birthday either but then they heard singing and yelling in the hallway.

It was the other lads yelling NICKY, NICKY, NICKY at the top of their lungs. Then they started banging on the door.

Shane laughed and said, “Sounds like the lads have other plans for ya”

“Fucking hell, they're mental, let’s not let them in” Nicky said and laughed too. But he still got out of bed, quickly got dressed and opened the door. As soon as the door was opened Brian, Kian and Mark yelled his name and jumped on Nicky, it knocked him on the floor. They slammed the door before they started singing

“Nicky, it’s your birthday, happy birthday Nicky”

“Fucking hell you guys, you’re insane” Nicky laughed and tried to get up, but it wasn’t over yet. Then they started singing again “We love you Nicky, we do, we love you Nicky, we do, oh Nicky we love you” Shane was laughing so hard that his stomach was starting to hurt.

“Alright, alright I love you guys too, now get off me” Nicky said and smiled.

All the lads laughed as Nicky struggled to get up. Shane laughed the loudest.

“Did you know about this baby?” Nicky asked

“No, no, I didn’t I swear” Shane said and tried to stop laughing.

“So, where are my presents?” Nicky said and smiled at them all.

“We didn’t get you any” Kian said.

“Yeah, you fucking don’t deserve it” Brian said and laughed.

“Hey, isn’t he enough of a present for you?” Mark asked and pointed at Shane.

“Yeah, he is” Nicky said and blushed. “And he's naked by the way” he whispered.

“Shut up babe” Shane said and threw a pillow at Nicky.

The lads looked at each other and then they started pulling of Shane's duvet.

“No stop, plz stop, help me babe” Shane screamed.

“No, you’re on your own baby” Nicky laughed and sat down in a chair. He was enjoying the show a bit too much. Shane kept fighting the others for the duvet, he held on to it for dear life, but he wasn’t strong enough. When the duvet came off, he quickly grabbed a pillow to cover himself up with. Nicky rolled off the chair and laughed his ass off.

“YEAH, VICTORY IS OURS” the lads yelled and laughed too.

“Alright, leave Shay alone, he's suffered enough” Nicky said when he had stopped laughing.

“And then get the hell out, I've had enough of ya” he smiled and hugged them all.

When the lads left, Nicky crawled up to Shane.

“I’m sorry baby, forgive me?” He said and flashed puppy dog eyes at him. Shane was a bit annoyed, but he couldn’t stay mad at Nicky for long.

“I can’t say no to that face” he whispered and kissed Nicky.

As their lips parted Shane said “But you better make it up to me big time”

“I will, I'll do anything, you name it and I'll do it” Nicky said and smiled at him.

Shane smirked “oh the power” he said and laughed.

“Hey, it’s still my birthday, be nice to me baby” Nicky said, he was a bit scared.

“I’m always nice to you babe” Shane said and kissed him deeply.

“How about we take a shower together?” Shane then said and winked at Nicky.

“I'd love to take a shower with you baby” Nicky was already taking off his clothes and pulled Shane with him towards the bathroom.

“Wait, wait, you go ahead and get started, I'll be right there” Shane said. Nicky reluctantly agreed and as he went out into the bathroom, Shane quickly grabbed his phone.

“Thanks for distracting him earlier; you have the ring, right?” He texted Kian. Shane's phone beeped right away.

“Yeah, I got the ring. It’s safe and sound” Kian replied. Shane smiled and walked to the bathroom.

“What took you so long baby?” Nicky said and pulled Shane close. Their cocks crushed together as they kissed. They were both instantly hard and panted away. They pulled at each other's hair and moaned loudly. Their kisses became wild and fierce. Nicky was so turned on; he was totally at Shane's mercy. “What do you want baby? He whispered. Shane could barely breathe but managed to whisper

“I want you to suck my cock, suck it dry babe” Within seconds Nicky was on his knees sucking Shane off. Shane leaned against the wall and threw his head back.

“Yeah...god yes.... don’t stop babe” he whispered hoarsely. “Nico, Nico, Nico” Shane repeated and felt himself tense up. Nicky knew that Shane was close now and as he deep throated him, it sent Shane over the edge.

He came so hard, harder than he had ever come before. His body was shaking, and Nicky got up from his knees and held him tight. As Shane's orgasm ended, Nicky's knees started to hurt. He looked down; both his knees were bleeding.

“You’re bleeding babe” Shane said a bit worried.

Nicky smiled at him and said

“Hey, I'll be alright, no pain, no game, right?” Shane smiled back at him and said

“I guess so, but you properly shouldn’t get down on those knees anymore right now”

“Maybe not” Nicky said and kissed him.

“I'll do it, I'll take one for the team” Shane said in between kisses.

“You sure baby? It’s pretty painful with these tiles” Nicky said.

“Don’t worry, I can take it” Shane said with such lust in his voice that Nicky's cock came alive again. Shane got down on all fours and said, “Fuck my brains out babe” Nicky hammered into him, he was so tight, and Nicky lost control. He kept going, deeper and deeper, harder and harder. Shane tried to speak but he couldn’t, he loved every second. He never wanted Nicky to stop. His knees hurt like hell, but he didn’t care.

Nicky was still going, he couldn’t stop. Fucking Shane like this was so intense. Shane felt lightheaded, he worried for a second weather or not he was gonna pass out. Nicky couldn’t hold back much longer but he wanted Shane to come too. As Shane moaned and said “Nicooooo” he came all over the floor. Nicky let himself come too; his orgasm was off the hook. He had never felt such pleasure before. Shane had collapsed on the floor and was panting away. Nicky sat down next to him and caught his breath again.

“You alright baby?”

“Yeah, yeah never better” Shane said and looked up at him. He sat up and took Nicky's hand. They smiled at each other.

“You’re bleeding baby” Nicky said. Shane looked at his knees, they were both torn up.

“It was worth it” he said and kissed Nicky passionately.

As they got dressed after the shower Nicky said to Shane

“God I’m starving, let’s go down and have some breakfast”

It’s almost 2 in the afternoon babe, they aren’t serving breakfast anymore” Shane said and smiled “but we could order room service”

“Yeah, let’s do that” Nicky said and grabbed the phone and called the reception. Shane quickly send a text “Could you get here in an hour? We're just grapping some food”

The reply came fast “Sure Shay”

“Thanks Mark, you’re the best”

Room service arrived 10 minutes later and as they ate, they couldn’t take their eyes of each other. Nicky couldn’t stop smiling; he loved Shane with all his heart. When he was done eating, all he could think about was how much he loved Shane and how he just wanted to kiss him. He waited patiently for Shane to finish eating too and as soon as he had taken the last bite, Nicky grabbed his neck and kissed him deeply. Shane pulled him on to his lap and their kisses got intense. They kissed and kissed, neither one of them wanted to stop. Then there was a knock on the door.

“If it’s the lads again, I swear I’m gonna kill them” Nicky said and reluctantly stopped kissing Shane and went to open the door.

When Nicky opened the door, he was met by Mark’s sad smile. Nicky sighted and said

“Hi Mark”

“Hey again birthday boy, wanna go out shopping with me?”

“Not really Marky” Nicky said and sat down on Shane's lap again. Shane and Mark shared a look, their plan wasn’t working.

“Come on babe, can’t you see the poor guy is lonely, he's missing his man. Go with him, it'll be fun” Mark looked at Nicky with begging eyes.

“Alright, let’s go Marky” Nicky said, he kissed Shane goodbye and went with Mark. Shane sighted and felt very relieved.

Later, while Nicky was out with Mark, Shane went to Kian's room. Brian opened the door for him and hugged him. Kian smiled at Shane and hugged him too.

“Thanks for holding on to the ring Ki, I just don’t want him to find it” Shane said.

“No problem Shay, I’m more than happy to help” Kian said.

“So, are you getting nervous about tonight?” Brian asked.

“A little yeah, I just want it to be perfect” Shane said.

“It will be Shay, don’t worry” Kian said and smiled at him.

“So, what’s the plan?” Brian asked.

“Well, we've got dinner reservations at 7.30 at the Eiffel Tower and then I’m gonna let him think we're going for a walk afterwards, that’s when I’m gonna need you guys to be all set with the candles” Shane said and couldn’t help but smile. But his palms got a bit sweaty.

“Ok, ok, I’m actually very nervous” he said.

“We'll be there with the candles, don’t worry” Kian said.

“And hey don’t be nervous, he's gonna say yes for sure” Brian said.

“I really hope so” Shane said.

When Nicky got back, a couple of hours later, he was all smiles.

“Hey babe, did you have a good time with Mark? Shane said and hugged him.

“Yes, we had a great time baby” Nicky said and kissed him.

“He sure misses C though, boy I’m glad my boyfriend is with me all the time” Nicky said and smiled at him. Shane smiled too, he loved being Nicky's boyfriend, but he had a feeling that he was gonna love being his husband even more. As they sat down Shane took out a box from the drawer in the nightstand.

He handed it to Nicky “Aww baby, what’s this?” Nicky said.

“Just open it” Shane said. As Nicky opened it, Shane held his breath.

“Baby, oh gosh thank you so much” Nicky said and threw his arms around Shane's neck.

“It’s just like the watch your dad used to wear” Shane said and blinked away a few tears.

“Yeah, it is” Nicky said and started to cry, Shane held Nicky's head in his hands and said.

“Now a piece of him will always be with you babe” Nicky's tears ran down his face, he couldn’t believe that Shane had done this.

“I love you so much” he said through his tears.

“I love you too” Shane said and kissed away Nicky's tears.

When Nicky had stopped crying, Shane put the watch on Nicky's wrist.

“There, it looks good on you babe” Nicky took a deep breath, he was so happy, Shane's love for him took his breath away.

“There better not be any more surprises now, I don’t think I can handle more today” Nicky said and sniffled.

“Maybe there will be, maybe there won’t” Shane said and kissed him. Nicky kissed him back with such lust and love that Shane couldn’t breathe. As Nicky began pulling at Shane's belt, he knew what Nicky wanted. Shane wanted it too but if they did, then they would be late for dinner.

“Babe, babe easy now, we gotta go”

“What? Where? Now?” Nicky panted.

“Yes now, we've got dinner reservations”

Nicky pouted and said, “but I have just been out, I don’t wanna go anywhere, I just wanna stay here with you baby”

Shane's brain was working overtime; he had to convince Nicky to go out.

“But babe, it’s your birthday and I wanna treat you with a nice dinner” .... Nicky wasn’t convinced, he hung his head.

 _Think Shane, think_...”How about this, when we get back, I’m gonna fuck you all night long” Shane said and smiled at him. Nicky looked up; he was differently listening now.

“Mmmm All night long? Really?”

“Yes, All night long babe” Nicky stood up quickly “Well, what are we waiting for then, let’s go” he said and grabbed Shane's hand.

Shane sighted, _phew that was close_ he thought to himself.

Nicky held Shane's hand tight in the cab

“Where are we going baby?”

“You'll see...” Shane smiled at him and tried to hide how nervous he actually felt. As the cab stopped by the foot of the Eiffel Tower, Nicky gasped. “Is this where we're having dinner baby?” Shane nodded, “That’s it, you’re officially Mr Romance” Nicky said and kissed him.

Their dinner was really romantic. Nicky couldn’t take his eyes of Shane all throughout the meal. Shane was getting more and more nervous, he tried to hide it the best he could.

“Look at the beautiful view babe” he said.

“I’m already doing that” Nicky said and kept looking at Shane. His gaze was so intense that it made Shane blush.

He leaned over and whispered, “You’re killing me here babe”

“I’m not sorry” Nicky said and smiled.

Then Shane let go of Nicky's hand and said “I gotta go to the bathroom” Nicky looked lovingly at him and said “hurry back baby” Shane's heart skipped a beat; he couldn’t handle the way Nicky looked at him tonight. His eyes held so much love for him.

Shane hurried out to the bathroom, he didn’t needed to do anything out there, it was just an excuse to be able to text Kian.

“We're leaving soon, are the candles ready?”

“Almost...Bri's lighting the last of them right now, and I still have the ring”

“Thank you, both of you” Shane's palms were sweaty, his throat was dry, he had never been this nervous ever. When he got back to the table Nicky kissed him lightly.

“I missed you baby” Shane tried to speak but his voice was failing him.

“I missed you too babe” he finally whispered. He took a deep breath and said, “let’s go for a walk babe, it’s a nice night”

“Sure, I’d go anywhere with you” Nicky said and got up. As they left, they had their arms around each other's wrists.

Down on the street Kian and Brian had just finished setting up the candles.

“Man, that was a lot of candles. He better say yes” Brian said and laughed.

“Yeah, he'd be a fool not to” Kian said and smiled.

“Here they come, quick hide” Brian whispered.

“Aww look baby, somebody lit a bunch of candles” Nicky said and looked at them. Kian quickly tapped Shane on the shoulder and handed him the ring. Nicky gasped as he realised that the candles were set up as letters.

Letters that formed the words “Nico, will you marry me?” He turned around and looked at Shane. He was down on one knee, holding out a ring. Tears formed in Nicky's eyes and as Shane spoke Nicky's tears started to fall.

“Nico, I have loved you since the day we met. You’re the love of my life and I can’t imagine my life without you. Babe, will you marry me?”

Nicky dropped to his knees in front of Shane.

“Yes, yes, a 1000 times yes” he said and kissed Shane. As Shane placed the ring on Nicky's finger he started crying too. “I love you so much babe” Shane said through his tears.

“I love you too baby” Nicky said and hugged him.


	17. Chapter 17

As they shared a cab back to the hotel, neither of them could stop smiling. Shane grabbed Nicky's hand and kissed it.

"Thank you for making this the best birthday ever"

Nicky said and almost cried again.

"Thank you for agreeing to marry me" Shane said and smiled. Then he kissed Nicky. The kiss was sweet and gentle but not for long. Within seconds Shane was all over Nicky, he grinded on him and panted away. "Baby, you're making me hard" Nicky whispered. "Good" Shane said and kept going.

"But....We're...Cab...Not here” Nicky could barely form a sentence.

"I’m just warming you up"

Shane smirked at him and started riding on his groin.

"Fuuuuck baby...slow down...you don’t want me to come already, do ya?"

Nicky was panting away and using all his strength to hold it together.

As the cab made a full stop outside the hotel, Shane pulled Nicky out of the car and dragged him to the elevator. Once they got inside the elevator, Shane's mouth found Nicky's again. He pushed him up against the wall and kissed Nicky so hard. Nicky couldn’t breathe now; his cock was getting too big for his jeans and he wanted Shane so much.

When they reached their floor, Shane was frantic. “Come on, come on" he whispered and they both ran to their room.

As the door slammed behind them, Shane kissed Nicky again. His kisses were so intense and wild. He had never wanted Nicky more. Nicky moaned loudly, he couldn’t believe how wild and fierce Shane's kisses were. Not that he was complaining though, he loved every second. Shane stopped kissing him all of a sudden and Nicky sighted loud. Shane looked intensely at him and without saying a word, he opened Nicky's belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Nicky pulled at Shane's hair and kissed him. But Shane broke off the kiss as soon as Nicky's cock was free. He dropped to his knees and took Nicky in his mouth. He sucked him off with so much force that Nicky had to grab a hold of the door frame.

"Fuuuuck... fuuck...fuuck...Yes...yes...yes...”

Nicky was going out of his mind; Shane had never sucked him off like this before. As he deep throated him, Nicky’s hand banged on the door. He was so close now. Shane then found his tip and sucked it like a porn star. Nicky moaned and moaned; he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Nicky's entire body tensed up and with one final suck from Shane, he came in Shane's mouth. Nicky let out a cry and crashed to the floor. His breathing was out of control and his body was shaking. Shane swallowed Nicky’s entire load and then he took him in his arms and held him tight.

"Ssshhhh babe, relax. Deep breaths now" Shane whispered. They stayed like that for 5 minutes, until Nicky's orgasm had finally subsided.

"Damn baby, what's gotten into you?" Nicky said and smirked at Shane.

"Well hopefully your cock...very soon"

Nicky gasped at Shane's words.

"Fucking hell, being engaged sure suits you baby"

"Yeah, how could it not when my fiancé is you babe?"

"God, I love you" Nicky said and kissed Shane with so much passion.

"I love you too" Shane said in between kisses.

Shane stood up and reached out his hand to Nicky. As Nicky got up too, their mouths found each other again.

Shane pulled Nicky's shirt up over his head and let his fingers dance on Nicky's chest. Then he pushed Nicky down on the bed and climbed on top of him. Nicky's cock reacted to Shane's touch instantly. They kissed again and then Shane whispered, "undress me babe"

Nicky took his time, he slowly pulled Shane's shirt off. Shane shivered when Nicky caressed his chest. "Oh babe" he moaned low. Shane moved his groin up and Nicky opened his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Shane's cock was so hard, and Nicky licked his lips by the sight of it. Shane started moaning again, he could barely handle Nicky's slow touch anymore. It was both sexy and frustrating at the same time. "Come on babe, faster please..." Shane begged.

"Why? We have all night baby remember?" Nicky said and began touching Shane's cock outside his boxers.

A loud moan escaped Shane's mouth and he closed his eyes. He was not prepared for what happened next. Nicky took the wristband of Shane's boxers in his mouth and started pulling them down with his teeth. Shane couldn’t breathe, he was so turned on. As Shane's boxers (finally) came off, Shane had had about enough of the foreplay. "Fuck me...fuck me" he repeated and climbed on Nicky's cock. He took all of Nicky in and now Nicky lost control. He worked his hips up and down, fast, and fierce. "Yeah...yeah...yeah...fuck me...oh Nico"

"Shay...fuuuck....yeah..."

Their bodies moved as one, faster and faster. Nicky then whispered, "stay still baby" As Shane did what he was told, Nicky thrusted in and out of him. He went deeper and faster by the second. He grabbed a hold of Shane's arms and picked up the pace even further. Shane moaned and panted; he was very close now. Seconds later, Shane tensed up and came so hard. Nicky kept fucking him, he was close too. A couple of hard thrusts later and Nicky came wildly. Shane collapsed on top of him. Nicky put his arms around him and tried to come down. He literally felt like he was flying without wings. When Shane had gotten his breathing under control, he kissed him. Nicky was still panting but he returned the kiss. Shane buried his head in Nicky's chest. He could hear Nicky's heart beating very fast. As it slowed down, Shane closed his eyes and smiled. Nicky's arms were still around him. "Don’t fall asleep now baby, the night is still young" Nicky chuckled. "I’m not sleeping, just resting my eyes babe" Shane mumbled. "Alright then, I’ll wait" Nicky said and smiled.

Shane's breathing became slow and his body started feeling very heavy on Nicky's chest. Nicky knew him well enough to know that he would start snoring soon. And within minutes, sure enough, Shane was fast asleep....and snoring. Nicky thought about waking him up, but his heart told him otherwise. He closed his eyes and thought _Sleep my baby, you've earnt it_ Then he dozed off with a huge smile on his face.

Hours later Nicky was woken up by Shane's lips on his. "Wake up babe" Shane panted and kissed him hard. Nicky lost his breath but managed to whisper in between kisses "I’m awake, I'm awake"

"Finally” Shane moaned and pinned Nicky to the bed. Shane was now on top of Nicky and as they both grinded away, their cocks touched. They kissed again; it was just as wild and fierce as earlier. They moaned into each other’s mouths and then Shane whispered

"Oh Nico, I wanna fuck you so bad"

"Then fuck me Shay....yes...fuck me..."

Shane travelled down Nicky's body. When his head was right next to Nicky's cock, he couldn’t help himself. As he took him in his mouth, Nicky gasped. It took Nicky by surprise but what a good surprise it was. Nicky moaned loudly as Shane sucked him off for a while. When he stopped Nicky was breathless, he panted away. Shane pushed Nicky's legs up and hammered into him. He took a deep breath and then he fucked him like his life deepened on it. His hips were out of control and unstoppable.

"Shit baby...yes...oh fuck...." Nicky whispered. Shane couldn’t speak; his entire body was fucking Nicky. As he began hard thrusting him faster, Nicky lost it. He started helping Shane and soon their bodies were in sync. They both moaned so loud now that Brian and Kian in the next room properly could hear them.

"I’m close, so close" Shane whispered

Me too baby, make me come" Nicky whispered back.

Shane hammered into him a couple more times and then they both came.

Afterwards they held on to each other so tight.

"Oh my god, oh my god" Nicky panted. He tried to get his breathing under control but failed. Shane was spent; he was sweating and still panting.

"Fuck, that was intense" he finally whispered.

"Yeah, only way we roll" Nicky said and chuckled.

Shane rolled down from Nicky and took his hand. They laid side by side and looked at each other for a while. Shane started touching Nicky's ring. Then he said

"I can’t believe we're getting married"

"Me neither baby, what a ride it’s been to get here huh?"

"Yeah, but it was all worth it. You were worth it"

"So were you" Nicky said and kissed him. They moved close together, and Shane felt Nicky's cock on his thigh. It was stone hard...again.

Shane sighted and said

"You’re hard again babe, how is that even possible?"

"Beats me baby, but I think my fiancé might have something to do with it"

Nicky smirked and kissed him again.

Shane took a deep breath and said

"I’m so exhausted babe..."

Nicky kissed his chest and bit Shane's lower lip.

"Does that mean you want me to stop?"

He whispered and let his tongue dance in Shane's mouth.

"Hell no!" Shane said as he started breathing fast.

"Good answer" Nicky moaned and grabbed a hold of Shane's cock. As he started jerking him off, Shane suddenly didn’t feel as exhausted anymore. Nicky's hand worked Shane's cock so fast now.

"Shit, shit, shit Nico"

Nicky kept going but then his hand cramped up and he had to switch hands.

Shane was twisting around on the bed; he couldn’t handle much more. As he arched his back up and came so hard, Nicky took him in his mouth and sucked him dry.

When Nicky noticed some drops on Shane's stomach, he stuck out his tongue and licked Shane clean. Then he found Shane's lips again.

"My god babe, I think you broke my cock" Shane whispered and laughed.

"I hope not, that would be a tragedy" Nicky said and laughed too.

"By the way, my cock is differently NOT broken but it might explode soon" Nicky said and led Shane's hand to it.

Shane smiled at him and grabbed it.

"Touch it.... ohhh baby...touch it" Nicky begged. Shane started jerking him off and Nicky panted away. As Shane picked up the pace, Nicky shot his hips up and moaned.

"Do it rough baby" he screamed.

Shane switched hands and jerked him off as rough as he possibly could.

Shane lost control now, this was so hot.

"Whose cock is it; whose cock is it?" He yelled.

"IT’S YOURS, ITS YOURS" Nicky yelled and twisted on the bed.

"Fuck yeah, now come for me babe" Shane said and touched Nicky's tip gently. That sent Nicky flying, his upper body shot up and he came full force. Nicky collapsed on the bed, his back hurt but he couldn’t care less.

Shane cuddled up close to him and kissed his forehead.

Nicky finally caught his breath again and said

"Night, night fiancé I love you"

"Good night fiancé I love you too"

Nicky took a deep breath and said

"Man, I can’t wait till our wedding night"

"Me neither babe, it’ll be off the hook for sure" Shane said and chuckled.

"Yeah, no doubt"

They kissed good night and held each other tight. Within minutes, they drifted off to a well-deserved sleep. Outside the sun came up.


	18. Chapter 18

They returned home from a successful tour and Shane still had a hard time believing that Nicky and him were engaged. They hadn’t let go of each other since they got engaged, and when they could they were all over each other. They were still behaving like they had just fallen in love, and it had only gotten worse now when they were engaged, it was way too much for Kian, Brian and Mark and they had refused to share a cap with them to the airport and they sure wouldn’t sit next to them on the plane.

When they got home to Shane’s house, they hardly managed to get past the door, before their clothes were flying everywhere. The lust they had for each other was still super intense and sometimes they could go on all night. This night however they only did it once before they drifted away to sleep; they had a wedding to plan in the morning.

The next morning Shane woke up before Nicky, he just laid and looked at him, then his eyes stopped at his lips and he gave him a kiss. Nicky stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes, Shane's breathing got caught in his throat as he looked into Nicky's blue depths.

“Morning Nico” he said lovingly to him

“Morning Shay” Nicky smiled

They held each other’s gaze and then they kissed deeply. Soon they both panted away

“Oh, fuck, Oh fuck”

“Mm take me baby, take me hard” Nicky moaned

“Oh baby, come here my love” Shane kissed him deeply again before he took him hard, Nicky screamed his name, and the louder he moaned, the harder Shane thrusted, he took him so hard that they both saw stars. They came at the same time and afterwards they laid and held each other close. They smiled at each other.

"Mmm we better get up now my love, we have a wedding that we need to plan" Shane said

"Mmm yes we better do that, even though I'd rather lie here with you all day" Nicky smiled crookedly at him.

"Oh, fuck Nico, don’t tempt me" .......... he kissed him heartily "unfortunately we don’t have the time for that, if we have to stick to our plan for a December wedding”

Nicky sighted "hmmm, you're right, we better get up and get started on the planning then"

Reluctantly they left the warm bed and got up and had breakfast, before they started on the planning.

4 Hours later, they sat back in their chairs, placed their pens on the table and smiled at each other.

“So, winter wonderland, white suits, snow and ice crystals?” Shane asked Nicky

“Yeah that sounds good, so where should we have the reception? Nicky asked.

“How about the Hilton, they have the ballroom that we can decorate as we wish, with crystals in the ceiling, snow and fake trees with small lights on, some sparkle and nice round tables with a beautiful centre decoration, but not too high so you can’t see the one sitting opposite you, imagine all the small lights dimmer in the sparkle and in the crystals” Shane said with stars in his eyes.

Nicky looked at him, he could see the sparkle, the stars and the love in Shane's eyes, he leaned across the table and kissed him.

“You’re Mr. Romance and I can’t wait to become your husband” he said to him when he ended the kiss.

Shane blushed, then he said; “I still have a hard time believing that you will be my husband on the 24th of December”

“You better get used to it love, cuz I’m not going anywhere…….”

“I want you to know  
That you're my burning sun  
My precious one  
And I would die without you  
I want you to know  
That you're my shining light  
My endless night  
And I would die without you

Cuz I can’t live without you”

He looked so intensely at him, that Shane had to look away before he said.

“So next up the guest list, who are we gonna invite?”

Nicky stood up and walked around the table, over to Shane. He pulled his chair out and took the pen from him before he sat down on his lap.

“I don’t care I just wanna marry you, I just wanna be your husband forever and for always”

He kissed him deeply and intense, it wasn’t long before Shane was hard and Nicky felt it, he turned around and straddled him, his kisses intensified and it wasn’t long before Shane was moaning “Oh Nico, fuck we…….have………wedding……plans" he couldn’t form a sentence and Nicky smiled.

“Later Shay, Later, now I just want you” 

Shane gasped but he didn’t stop him, he needed him badly too and from the bulge in Nicky’s pants he wanted him just as much.

Nicky gently took Shane's hand and led him to the bedroom. He never broke eye contact with him, all the way there. As Shane crashed onto the bed and landed on his back, he pulled Nicky down with him.

"Ouch babe, don’t break my arm" Shane whispered and smiled.

"Sorry baby, didn’t mean to hurt you"

"It’s ok, as long as you never break my heart” Shane said and kissed him deeply.

"Baby, I will never do that...ever", Nicky said in between kisses.

Their kisses became deeper and they started taking each other's cloches off.

"Babe, keep kissing me" Shane moaned into Nicky's mouth.

Nicky started moaning too. "Yes baby...oh I want you so bad" he whispered and began working his hips on Shane.

"Yes, yes, yes, work those hips" Shane panted.

As their cocks became hard, they both became desperate. Within minutes Nicky slipped inside Shane, ever so slowly. Shane cried out with pleasure. Nicky panted and started fucking him, nice and slow. He moved his hips slowly, but Shane wanted more.

"Babe...faster, faster please..."

"Not yet baby, just nice and slow for now" Nicky whispered and kissed him hard. He broke off the kiss and looked intensely at Shane.

"I love you so much" he said and kissed him again. Shane could barely speak but he managed to whisper

"I love you too babe, so much"

Suddenly Nicky pulled out of Shane, only to thrust hard into him seconds later. He thrusted harder and harder and Shane was going out of his mind.

“YES, YES, YES, FUCK ME” he yelled.

"Oh Shay" Nicky whispered low. He took a deep breath and hammered into Shane full force. They moaned in unison. Nicky kept hammering into him, over and over. They were both close now.

"Come for me babe" Shane said. He wanted Nicky to come inside him NOW. Nicky bit his own lip, he thrusted into Shane one more time and came hard. When Shane felt Nicky's load being fired into him, it sent him flying. He let out a cry and came hard too. Nicky collapsed on top of Shane and reached for his hand. As their fingers entwined, they caught their breaths again. When Nicky was finally able to speak, he looked up at Shane, so lovingly.

"You and me forever baby" he said and smiled at Shane.

"Forever and for always" Shane whispered and kissed him

Again, they reluctantly left the bed, they still had the guest list to look at.

“So, we’re definitely gonna invite Ki and Bri but also Mark and C and then our close friends and family” Nicky said

“Shall we keep the press out?” Shane asked

“They can get a picture of us by the church, but then they are not welcome” Nicky said, and Shane nodded.

When they sat down and enjoyed dinner Nicky looked at Shane.

“Long time since you have had a proper chat with Mark, wonder how he’s holding up? He missed Cailian a lot when we were on tour, but I kinda got the feeling that he missed your chats too, maybe you should call him and see if he’s up for at chat?

Shane nodded “Yeah I miss our chats too; I think I’ll call him after dinner”

Nicky nodded and they finished eating.

After dinner Shane called Mark but he didn’t answer his phone, “That’s odd” he said out loud

“What’s odd baby?” Nicky asked and looked up

“Mark, he's not answering his phone. He always answers it"

“I'll give him a call” Nicky said, but the phone rang out “yeah that’s odd, we’ll try again tomorrow and if he doesn’t answer it then, we’ll pay him a visit” he said

“Yes, let’s do that, but maybe he’s just busy catching up with Caelian” Shane said and chuckled a bit.

Nicky looked at him and walked over to him, he took his hand and whispered

“Speaking of being busy catching up” He placed Shane’s hand on his bulge “I want you so badly”

Shane found his lips and kissed him fiercely before he took Nicky’s other hand and placed it on his own bulge “I want you so badly too, sometimes I just can’t understand how we can keep going” he winked at Nicky.

Nicky kissed him passionately and hard “I think it’s called love and lust honey, and the fact that we have waited so long for each other have properly not made it any better, but we have each other now, and that’s all that counts" he said and dragged him towards the bed, soon two bodies became one once again.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning when they had finished breakfast, Shane tried to call Mark again, again he had no luck, he placed his phone on the table and looked at Nicky

“That’s it I’m going over to Mark's house; I don’t like this at all”

Nicky nodded “Yeah, I think it’s for the best, so we at least know that he is safe, and then you can take his invitation with you”

“Yes” Shane kissed him and found his car keys, then he drove off.

As he reached the house, he saw a car parked outside, when he came closer, he could see that it was a moving van _hmmm, what’s going on here?_ he thought.

He knocked on Mark’s door twice before it was opened.

“Hi Shane” Cailian said, “What brings you here?”

“I’m just checking up on one of my best friends” Shane said

Cailean stepped aside “Come in, he’s alright, we’re just a bit busy”

Shane stepped inside “Mark?” he yelled

“In the living room” he shouted; Shane walked in, there were boxes everywhere.

“Uhm Mark, what’s going on here?” Mark looked up

“Hi Shay” He smiled at him “Well Cailian is moving in with me” he said and smiled at Cailian who sat down beside him on the floor.

“Wow, that’s something I didn’t see coming, congrats to you both”

“Thanks Shay, so what are you doing here anyways?”

“Well you didn’t answer mine or Nico’s call so we got worried about you, I was thinking that it has been a long time since you and me have had a proper chat” he smiled at him.

“Yeah sorry about that, we've been busy with the moving in, and other stuff” he winked at Cailian.

“Hey, it’s okay Mark, I’m just glad that you’re okay, here I have something for you” he said and handed him the invitation, Mark opened it right away and began to read it.

“Thanks Shay, and of course we’ll come to your wedding, but you’re sure moving fast” he winked at him “you just can’t wait to make him your husband huh?” Shane blushed

“Ehmm no, I can’t….” he smiled “I just want to call him my husband now, I have waited so long for him, he’s my one and only” he smiled widely at Mark.

“I know Shay, it’s so clear to see that you two belong together” He smiled back at Shane.

“But thanks for stopping by to check up on me, I’m good, and when we’re finished with all the moving I swear we’ll have a proper catch up, I miss talking to you” he smiled again.

“Alright Mark, I’ll hold you to that promise, but for now I’ll leave you with the moving in, and drive home to my fiancée”

Mark stood up and followed Shane to the door, he gave him a hug.

“Tell Nix I said hi, and thank him for the invitation too, we’ll talk later Shay” he smiled again

Shane smiled back at him “Take care Mark, we’ll talk later”

2 weeks later Mark called Shane and invited him out. They met up at the nearest café, ordered some food and found a private booth where they could sit undisturbed. Mark looked at Shane

“So, you wanted to talk?

“Yeah, I missed our chats, it’s been awhile since we’ve talked about what’s going on in both of our lives”

“Well yeah, we’ve both been busy, me with the moving in of my boyfriend and you and Nicky planning your wedding. Besides no one could or would interrupt you after you got engaged, first of all, we didn’t even wanted to be near you guys, you were all over each other, it was just too much”

He smiled and Shane blushed

“Sorry about that” he said and looked down.

“Hey, we understood you, you had both been waiting way too long for each other, so no worries. We just wanted you to enjoy each other”

“Thanks Mark” He said and then they sat in silence for a while and ate.

“So how have you been?” Shane asked, Marks face changed _Well I might as well tell him_

He looked Shane directly in the eyes

“Well I wasn’t okay for a while after you broke up with me, I was hurt and I actually felt betrayed, I just couldn’t believe that you could do that to me, after all that I did for you, helping you through the whole Nix and Ki thing” He took a deep breath and a sip of his water.

Shane looked down and was lost in his own thoughts _fuck I really hurt him, when I broke up with him, it was never supposed to be that way._

Mark coughed and Shane looked up.

“You hurt me when you broke up with me, but I’m glad you did it before it ended up the way, that broke Nix so much, that he needed to seek comfort in your arms…….Shay look, I forgive you for everything, if it wasn’t for you then I never would have met Cailian who actually is my Nix”

Shane took a deep breath

“I’m sorry I hurt you like that Mark, I never meant to do that”

“I know you didn’t Shay, and I knew what I got myself into when I fell for you, you were never truly mine, your heart and soul did always belong to Nix, I’m just glad that we had the time together that we did”

Shane looked at him with tears in his eyes.

Mark stood up and walked round the table to him, he sat down and gave him a hug

“Shay don’t cry, everything has worked out now, we’re all in a happy relationship and that’s all that matters, it took some time for us all to get here, but now we’re all stronger than ever, and there are no hard feelings between us, our relationship in the band and personally has never been stronger than it is right now and that's the best part of all of this. If it keeps going like this, then nothing can stop us for the next 20 years”

“Thanks Mark, I guess I needed to hear that” Shane said and gave him a hug back, Mark sat down in his own seat again and they finished dinner, once they were finished they hugged each other goodbye and then Mark looked at him

“I’ll see you at the wedding”

“Yeah, Mark about that” Shane said

“Yes?”

“Would you be my best man?”

“Yes, I will Shay, it would be an honour to stand beside you when you say yes to your man” Mark smiled at him and Shane smiled back. They hugged each other goodbye again and Shane went home to Nicky.

When Shane locked himself in, Nicky was tripping to hold him in his arms again. As soon as the door slammed Nicky stood in front of him and took him in his arms and kissed him lovingly.

When their lips parted, he looked at him “So how did it go?”

“Tears, truth, forgiveness. And I now have a best man for our wedding”

“Aww that sounds great about the best man but what about the tears, truth and forgiveness?”

Shane told him everything and Nicky just held him close.

“I’m sorry you had to have that talk, but I’m sure it was for the best”

“It was Nico, it was and I’m sure Marky is right. We are all stronger than ever now” He gave him a kiss.

“I can’t wait to marry you next month, just to be able to call you my husband is the best” Shane said

“I can’t wait either” …… Nicky looked intensely at Shane “You know what, we could just go to City Hall and get married tomorrow and keep it as a secret for everyone” he winked at him.

“No, we can’t do that, can we?”

Nicky leaned against him “I wouldn’t mind it babe” he whispered and nipped on Shane’s earlope before he kissed his neck and moved up again.

“It would be an absolute pleasure to go to bed tomorrow night with my hubby” he said low and husky.

Shane shivered “Don’t tempt me babe, don’t tempt me”

“Hmm is it working love?” he said low again before he ripped Shane's shirt off him.

“Mmm no not quite yet, but that! Definitely worked on something” he said and took his hand and placed it on his bulge.

“Nico, I want you now!”

“All yours babe, all yours” he said and dragged him towards the bedroom

Once in there Nicky quickly got rid of his clothes, and then he looked hungrily at Shane.

“Don’t just stand there babe, come over here, so I can undress you”

Shane gasped at his words and walked over to him. Nicky quickly got him out of his clothes before he began to tease him, with light strokes all over his body.

“Fuck Nico, don’t tease me like that” He bit his lower lip and threw his head back when Nicky took a hold of his hard cock and began to stroke him, making him harder than he already was.

“NICOOOOOO….” he gasped when he felt his cock surrounded by Nicky’s warm mouth.

He sucked him till he almost reached his climax and then he stopped

“Nico…. plz, don’t do that to me”

“My turn Shay, I desperately need to feel your mouth around me”

Shane dropped to his knees and took him all in, he sucked him till he had to pull away gasping for air.

“Take me Shay, take me hard, fuck my brain out”

“Then turn around” he did and then Shane bend him over the bed before he hammered hard into Nicky, Nicky almost fell down

“SHAYYY, FUCK, oh babe that’s so good” he panted away “Yes take me harder”

Shane pumped in and out of him harder and harder, he was so close now.

“Babe I…. I’m…. not…. gonna…. last…. much…. longer”

“Come for me babe, come for me” Nicky moaned loudly and that pushed Shane over the edge and he came hard.

Nicky had held himself back, he wanted to fuck Shanes brains out till he was seeing stars.

He gasped loudly “My turn Shay, now bend over the bed” Shane gasped, but did so.

“I wanna fuck you till you’re seeing stars” he said before he hammered hard into Shane, Shane’s knees gave in, but he managed to hold himself up.

Nicky had never taken Shane like that, he hammered in and out harder and harder and with every stroke Shane’s cock got harder and harder again.

Nicky found his cock “Mmm you like me taking you rough like this?” Shane could only moan. Nicky slowed down and stroked Shane's cock before he speeded up again.

“NICO……FUCK……SO……GOOOOD……. YES……YES….” he panted away and got closer and closer to a new orgasm; Nicky really fucked him till he was seeing stars.

“OH……SHAY……. BABE……. I’M……. GONNA……. COOOOME” he moaned and came hard inside him, Shane followed shortly after and fell down on the bed.

They laid there for a while and caught their breaths again before they climbed under the duvet and kissed passionately.

Nicky smiled at him “So, what ya say? City hall tomorrow?”

Shane smiled back at him “Mmm it could be so wonderful to go to bed tomorrow with you by my side, knowing that you’re MINE, but if we do this, we aren’t gonna tell anyone and no rings will be swapping fingers until our church blessing”

“I can live with that babe, I just wanna be YOURS now, I can’t wait a month, I love you so much Shay, my Shay” he kissed him deeply again.

“Mmmm I love you too Nico, my Nico, my future husband, my soulmate, my everything”

They felt asleep holding each other close.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning when they woke up, Nicky woke up with a huge smile on his face, by the end of this day, Shane would be HIS, if he hadn’t changed his mind. Nicky sure hoped not, he looked to his side and gave him a light kiss on the cheek to wake him up.

“Morning Nico” he mumbled

“Morning Shay, what a beautiful day to go to City Hall” he said low

“Yeah babe, I haven’t forgotten what we talked about yesterday, but I just want to clear something with you”

“What babe? The no rings swapping fingers, and the no one shall know about it?”

“Yes babe, and one more thing I’ll only be your hubby, babe, or baby, not your husband yet. That’s only after the church blessing”

“I think I can live with that babe” he said and smiled at him; Shane kissed him lovingly.

“That’s the right answer babe” Nicky’s stomach rumbled, and Shane laughed, he patted him on the arm and kissed him lightly.

“Now let’s get some breakfast and then see if we can get a appointment at City Hall today”

They got up and had some breakfast before they called the Mayor and asked if they could get married today at the City Hall, with no other witnesses than him and a secretary.

Luckily for them, the Mayor and City Hall was free, so two hours later they walked in there, holding each other’s hands, both casually dressed, in jeans, a nice shirt, and a blazer. They said hello to the Mayor and his secretary and then they were asked to sit down. The Mayor told them, that when they said yes to each other today, they would be civilly married.

They both smiled widely at each other and took each other’s hands before the Mayor asked them one by one if they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, they both said yes, and then they signed the papers. Nicky caught Shane’s gaze and held his hand tight, they leaned against each other and kissed. 

The Mayor and his secretary congratulated them both on their civil marriage, and as soon as they had left the room Shane dragged Nicky closer

“Come here, my hubby” he said and kissed him deeply this time, as they parted Nicky whispered

“Mmmm I really like that……….my hubby” he kissed him again before they left holding hands.

They reserved a table at a nice restaurant that evening, a little romantic dinner, just to celebrate their marriage. When they got home, they barely managed to get past the door before clothes were flying all over the place. As they laid in bed and caught their breaths again, their fingers intertwined and they smiled at each other before they crawled under the duvet.

“Remember to always kiss me goodnight Hubby” Nicky said low

“I’ll always remember that…. My Hubby, my babe, forever and always” he kissed him goodnight and whispered

“I really love it Nico”

“Love what?” 

“That you’re calling me your hubby” he smiled warmly at him and continued “And I really love calling you my hubby, it’s amazing. Thanks for convincing me to do this, but now I just can’t wait for our church blessing.”

“That’s still a month away babe, but I know what you mean, I can’t wait either” Nicky said and kissed him deeply before they both felt asleep holding each other close.


	21. Chapter 21

The day before their church blessing they all checked in at a very nice hotel in central Sligo. Shane and Nicky had reluctantly agreed to spend the night apart, it was tradition, and since no one knew that they had been married for a month, they had no other choice but to do it, even though it slowly killed them both.

They had not been apart since the day Nicky came to Shane's house, dissolved in tears, cuz Kian had cheated on him and Nicky had made the choice to break up with him. So, to spend the night apart was almost too much, they kissed deeply and passionately in the hallway before they were literally dragged into each of their rooms.

Shane by Mark and Nicky by Brian.

Shane was in tears as he sat on his bed. Mark looked at him

"Shay come on, you’ll see him tomorrow, it's only about 17 hours you have to go on without him"

"It's just so hard Mark, I've not been away from him since he came to me after Kian had cheated on him"

"I know Shay, but you just have to now, it's the tradition and we will do as tradition says. You can call him later and say good night to him and you know you’ll see him tomorrow anyways. I will come and help you in the morning and get you safe and sound to the church. Now try and eat a little and then get some sleep even though I know you miss him"

Mark said goodbye to him and shook his head as he left his room.

In the meantime, Brian had a hard time with Nicky too, he had been crying like a mad man since he had dragged him into his room. He rolled his eyes when he heard Nicky sniffle again

“Oh, come on Nix, you’ll see him again in less than 17 hours, can’t you do without him until then?”

“NO! I can’t, it’s way too hard, I miss him Bri. I haven’t been away from him since...you know”

“Yeah……” he said, then he sat down next to him and gave him a hug.

“Look Nix, I know it’s hard, but you can always call him later and say goodnight to him. This is the tradition, and we all thought that you two should keep it that way, besides we both know that tomorrow at 12.30 he will be yours forever”

Nicky lit up “Yes he will, he’ll be my husband and I’ll be his husband”

“Yes Nix, now try to eat a bit, and then sleep so you’re well rested for tomorrow, your big day”

Nicky looked down again “I’ll try, but it won’t be easy”

Brian gave him a hug and said “Your mom will stop by in the morning, and help you get ready so try to sleep”

Nicky nodded and then Brian left his room.

Down the hallway Mark and Brian almost stumbled into each other.

“Oh God Nix is a mess, he’s been crying since I dragged him into his room, he misses his man so much”

“Tell me about it, Shay is in tears also, I didn’t think that it would be so hard for them to be apart for only 17 hours, but it sure looks like it’s a living hell for them”

“Yeah, you think we need to guard their rooms, so they don’t sneak into each other’s rooms during the night?” Brian asked and chuckled.

“Actually, I don’t know, let’s hope they have grown up enough to not do that, but I guess we’ll find out tomorrow”

“Yeah, sleep well Marky”

“I will, you too Bri"

Then they said goodnight and left for their own rooms.

When the clock reached 22.00, Shane’s phone rang.

“Hey Hubby, I miss you” Nicky’s husky voice sent shivers through his body.

“Hey Hubby, I miss you too” he said, then he whispered “It’s so hard not to have you by my side, not to listen to your steady breathing before I fall asleep, not to kiss you goodnight”

Nicky sighted and whispered “Not to touch you, not to feel your warm body against mine, not to hold you close, not to feel your strong arms around me”

“Good I miss you babe, Nico I can’t stand this, it’s just too hard to be away from you”

“I miss you too babe, Shay what's your room number?”

“250 why?”

“Nothing just trying to figure out how far away you are from me”

“Pretty far I guess, what are you doing now?”

“Lying on my bed imagining you naked beside me” Nicky whispered, and Shane gasped

“Babe……. don’t…. I’ll just miss you even more”

“If you were here by my side, I would let my fingers run down your body slowly until I would reach your cock and stroke you, before I would take you deep in my mouth and suck you, till you almost came, I would drive you insane, teasing you and kissing you, let you beg me to take you hard before I would give in and slowly enter you. When I was fully inside you, I would start to begin to thrust in and out, doing it harder and harder, and faster and faster”

Shane moaned loudly now “Oh babe……fuck…….”

“Touch yourself love” Nicky said low and hoarse.

When Shane found his hard cock, he moaned so loudly down the phone that Nicky was instantly hard.

“Yes babe, tell me what you would do to me?”

“Oh Nico, I would push you down on the bed, hold you down, tease you with kisses, before I would find your big hard cock and take it in my mouth. I would suck you hard, hear you moan my name. Then I would stop and straddle you instead and let you fill me up and ride you harder and harder, beg you to come inside me, before I would turn you around and take you hard until I came inside you”

Nicky moaned loudly, he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed him now. He found his key card and locked himself out of his room “Fuck Shay, I’m so hard now, make me come baby, make me come” he whispered down the phone while he walked, 10 steps and then he stood in front of Shane’s door.

He knocked on the door and heard Shane swear on the phone

“Sorry babe someone is knocking on my door hang on”

“Yes babe” he said and hung up.

Shane cursed low, then he opened the door and looked into Nicky’s blue depts.

“Nico, babe….” Nicky stepped inside, he slammed the door and hungrily found Shane's lips, it took him a bit by surprise but soon their tongues danced together, and they stumbled over to the bed

“Take me Shay, take me hard”

Shane pushed him down on the bed and ripped his shorts and shirts off him, to Shane’s surprise, he was commando under his shorts. He found Nicky's cock and took him all in, he sucked him harder and harder, Nicky was screaming his name by now

“Shay……. Shay…. babe……fuck……. take me……. now”

Shane straddled him and lowered himself down on his big cock, he started to ride him slowly but soon he speeded up and rode him harder and harder, Nicky’s nails drilled into Shane's chest while he moaned louder and louder “Make me come babe”

“Fuck babe……yes…. come for me…….” With one last thrust he pushed Nicky over the edge, and he came hard inside him.

Nicky barely got his breathing under control before Shane had turned him around and hammered hard into him, he took him harder and harder, faster and faster as he had said he would and then he let himself come hard inside Nicky. He fell down on the bed next to Nicky, they kissed passionately for several minutes while they held each other close

“Mmmm now I can definitely sleep and be ready for tomorrow when you’ll be my husband properly” he said low

“Oh babe me too, this was just what I needed, you in my arms, your body against mine, your cock inside me, I love lying here with you, but I better get back to my room now, my mom is coming in the morning”

“Yes babe” They stood up and Nicky put his clothes back on. Shane walked him to the door, he took him in his arms again and held him close.

“See you tomorrow Hubby, do you really have to leave?”

“Yes, I need to, we can’t have them finding us in bed together tomorrow, can we?” Nicky smirked.

“Don’t think they would be pleased with that babe, but right now I just don’t care, all I want to do is to wake up with you tomorrow” 

“Me too babe” ………Nicky was quiet for a while, then he found his phone and pushed some buttons before he put it back in his pocket, Shane looked puzzled at him.

Nicky kissed him deeply, and pushed him toward the bed again, now Shane was confused

“Nico, Babe, shouldn’t you be in your own room?

“No, I’m staying here, my alarm is set for 2 hours before my mom arrives”

“Oh babe, come here” he whispered and held him close before his lips found his again. Soon they both moaned again, and it wasn’t long before their bodies reacted to each other, they just couldn’t get enough, and when they both fell asleep it was with huge smiles on their faces.


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning when Nicky’s alarm woke them up, they both moaned and moved closer again.

“Mmm, morning hubby, today is they day, I can’t wait to see you in church later” Shane whispered to him.

“Mmm, morning hubby, I can’t wait either, but now I better get back to my room and pretend I slept there the whole night, so they won’t be mad at us” he winked at Shane and gave him a kiss before he got up and found his clothes.

Shane nodded and walked him to the door, they quickly kissed goodbye. Shane crawled under the duvet again, and sniffed Nicky’s sent from the pillow he had used last night.

Nicky locked himself in again and crawled under the duvet too, he quickly fell asleep before he 3 hours later was woken up by a knock on the door, his mum was there to help him get ready.

“Sorry, I'm late Nicky, the traffic was bad" Yvonne said and hugged him.

“It's ok mam, I'm just glad you are here" Nicky said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

After several hours Nicky was finally ready, he looked at his mum

“So, how do I look?”

“Oh Nicky, my boy, you look so handsome, I can’t believe that you’re getting married today to the love of your life, and that white suit, sure suits you perfectly"

Nicky smiled “Thanks, I can’t believe it either, but mam can you keep a secret?”

“Yes, I can, what is it?”

Nicky took his mom’s hands “Shay and I went to the City Hall a month ago…….”

“Yes?”

“There we got civilly married, so mam we have been married for a month now, but we have kept it a secret, we want it to be a surprise in the church”

His mom gasped and gave him a hug “Oh Nicky, it sure will be a surprise, thanks for telling me and congrats on your civil marriage”

“Thanks mam, we couldn’t wait to be married, I just love him so much”

“I know you do, you two are perfect for each other, now let’s get going to the church, we don’t want your man to wait too long by the alter”

Nicky smiled “No we can’t have that, I can’t wait to be properly married to him” he said, his voice was full of love.

Then they drove off to the church.

Mark came to wake Shane up that day to help him get ready for the church. He smiled at Shane and stepped inside his room, once inside he wrinkled his nose and looked at Shane

“Alright Shay, where are you hiding Nix?” He looked at Shane, he didn’t answer. “God Shay just say it, the whole room smells of sex……”

Shane blushed a bit “He’s not here, you can take a look around”

“Alright I believe you, now get in the shower. We need to get you ready for the church".

When he was finished, he looked at Mark

“Thanks again for being my best man, it means a lot to me”

“No problem Shay, it’s an honour to be your best man”

“So how do I look?”

“That white suit looks so good on you, Nix will drop his jaw, but we better get going now, you need to stand and wait by the alter when he walks down the aisle”

“Yes I need to do that” he looked out in the room with love in his eyes, then he said underneath his breath “I can’t wait to be properly married to him, to be his, and have him as my husband”

Mark looked at him “Say what…? properly married to him?”

Shane looked at him and shook his head “Nothing Marky, let’s go to the church, I can’t let my man wait”

When they arrived at the church they were met by the pastor, they both said hello to him, and then he led them to the alter where they could wait. Soon the church began to be filled with people and Shane got more and more nervous.

Nicky and his mum arrived at the church, the pastor greeted them too and then the church bells started to ring. Nicky and Shane both tensed up, now it was time.

Yvonne put her hand on Nicky’s arm and she smiled at her son, then they stepped inside the door and walked down the aisle. Nicky looked around and saw the church beautifully decorated with small white flowers, he let his eyes wander and when Nicky saw Shane by the alter he gasped. He looked so beautiful and handsome, and he just wanted to rip his suit of him, his thoughts wandered back to last night and he licked his lips, before he concentrated on his man in front of him.

Shane couldn’t take his eyes of Nicky when he stepped into the church. He swallowed the lump in his throat, wow he was beautiful and stunning, that suit sure looked good on him, and it hugged his body just the way Shane liked it. _My god, why do they have to walk so slow!!!!! I just want him by my side now!_

When they arrived at the alter, Yvonne smiled at Shane and mimed “Take good care of my son”

Shane nodded, of course he would do that! Nothing could stop him from doing that.

Nicky stepped up to him and took his hand, all he wanted to do was to kiss him deeply but he decided that now was not the time. He knew that he would have his chance later.

The pastor began

“Dear friends and family we’re gathered here today to witness Shane and Nicky get their churchly blessing in marriage, they have decided that they today, in this house of God with him as their witness will confirm their marriage to each other”

A gasp went through the church, but the pastor continued

“They are here today, to show their love for each other.

When I first met them, it was clear to me that they belonged together, so we are gathered here today so they can show their love for each other to God and receive His blessing.

Let God be with them forever and always.

Let him lead them if they fail, let him show them love if they doubt and let him be with them in spirit if they need advice.

Shane and Nicky, today you choose each other before your family and friends, to begin your life together. For all the tomorrows that follow, you will choose each other over and over again, in the privacy of your hearts. Let your love and friendship guide you, as you learn and grow together. Experience the wonders of the world, even as patience and wisdom calm the restless nature. Through your new partnership, may you triumph over the challenges in your path. Through the comfort of loving arms, may you always find a safe place to call home.

Amen.”

Then he looked over at Shane, he took a deep breath and looked Nicky deeply in the eyes

“I, Shane, take you, Nicky, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. I give to you, endless strength that you can count on when you are weak. I'll be your music when you can't hear, your sunshine when you can't see, or your perfume when you can't smell. You'll never need to look further than me. I'll be your days and your nights when you need them filled, your spark of life in the darkness, your hope when you're down and out."

He got the ring from Mark and placed it on Nicky’s finger with the words

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I forever and for always will be by your side. That I always will be faithful and always will love you deeply, no matter where our journey takes us. My love, my soulmate, my baby"

Shane smiled at him, Nicky tried to blink away his tears, but failed. Instead he took a deep breath cuz now it was his turn to say his vows.

"I, Nicky, promise you, Shane, that I will be your husband from this day forward, to be faithful and honest in every way, to honour the faith and trust you place in me, to love and respect you in your successes and in your failures, to make you laugh and to be there when you cry, to care for you in sickness and in health, to softly kiss you when you are hurting, and to be your companion and your friend, on this journey that we take together."

Nicky got the ring from his mom and placed it on Shane’s finger with the words

“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. I give you my heart and my soul. May this ring remind you that you’re always surrounded by my endless love. From this day forward until death will do us part, my love, my soulmate, my baby”

Shane had tears ins his eyes, he was so close to crying. Nicky was finally HIS, his HUSBAND, he couldn’t believe it. 1 year ago, he never thought that he would be standing here today with Nicky’s hand in his being lawfully married to him, with the church’s blessing, but here he was. He smiled at Nicky again and then the pastor said

“You may now kiss your husband”, they smiled at each other and leaned in and kissed. That kiss was so full of passion that they both lost their breath, never had it felt so good to kiss, they smirked and kissed again, before the pastor said

“May I present for the first time Mr and Mr. Shane and Nicky Filan-Byrne”

They held each other’s hands tight before they walked down the aisle together. It rained with rose pedals when they stood outside the church. The press was there too, everyone loved a piece of Shnicky, when then flashing was over, they hurried into the car that would take them back to the hotel where the party would be held. When they stepped inside the ballroom their eyes almost popped out of their head and they lost their jaw. Everything was just so beautiful, small trees with lights, fake snow that glitzed when the light hit it, white chairs, white centre pieces, glitter and sparkle, a true winter wonderland just what they wanted. They were both amazed and looked at each other before they kissed deeply again.

“It’s just what we wanted it to be Shay”

“Yes, it is Nico, just the way we talked about”

Nicky took Shane’s hand and looked at his ring, it was now on the right finger and then he kissed it

“I can’t believe that you’re my husband now, you’re definitely not my Hubby anymore”

“I can’t believe that either, god I love you so much” Shane said and kissed him before he kissed his hand where the ring was.

Nicky smiled at him “Now let’s welcome our guests and get this party started”

“Right back at you babe, let’s get this party up and running”


	23. Chapter 23

The next couple of hours flew by with songs, and speeches and everyone had a good time. As everyone raised their glasses for the happy couple once again, all 4 of the lads began chanting "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss".

Shane and Nicky smiled and kissed each other deeply.

Everybody cheered and yelled Shnicky, Shnicky over and over again.

Shane clicked on his glass with his knife and the room fell silent within seconds.

He took a deep breath, squeezed Nicky's hand, and stood up.

Nicky felt the tears forming in his eyes already.

“My darling Nico, today is the happiest day of my life, you are finally my husband. Years ago, I never thought we'd ever get here. My heart has always known that you and I were supposed to be together for eternity and waiting for you to catch up wasn’t always easy. But you were worth it, as i knew you would be.

You are my missing piece and because of you, I am now complete.

You are my best friend, my lifeline, my soulmate. And I hope you'll always stay the same cuz there's nothing about you i would change.

I love you so much babe”

Then he raised his glass and yelled "To Nicky"

Nicky leaned over and kissed Shane as soon as he sat down. Nicky's tears started falling down his cheeks and he sniffled as the kiss ended.

"I will always love you babe" Shane whispered.

Nicky couldn’t speak but through his tears, he mimed the words "I will always love you too baby”

As the toast ended and everybody sat down again, Kian and Brian started yelling

"Speech, speech, speech"

Nicky smiled at Shane, he kissed him lightly and stood up.

He cleared his throat and said

"My darling Shay, as I stand here today as your husband, proudly I might add, I couldn’t be happier.

You and I have been through hell and back. We've laughed together, we've cried together but most of all we've always loved each other.

No matter what I was going through, you were always there. Like a lighthouse guiding me to the shore. And as you and everyone here knows I want nothing else then to have you to myself.

I gave you my heart a long time ago, it just took me some time to realise it, but now I know that it’s yours to keep forever. I love you so much and I can’t wait to build a life with you. Thank you for being you and for always loving me baby.

Everyone, please raise your glass for my husband, to Shane"

As Nicky sat back down, Shane pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Tears ran down Shane's cheeks, he couldn’t stop crying.

Nicky dried his tears away and said, "Dance with me babe" and led him to the dance floor.

They danced their wedding waltz as the guests moved closer and closer towards them. In the end they could only sway from side to side, they kissed deeply and all of their guests cheered.

The party went on well into the night and everyone had a good time celebrating love and unity. Shane looked over at Nicky who danced with one of his lifelong friends, and all he could think about was to leave the party and drag Nicky with him. It didn’t take him long to make that decision, he walked across the dance floor and tapped Nicky on the shoulder.

“Can I have the next dance love?” Nicky nodded and took Shane’s hand and let him lead the way-back to the dance floor. They danced slowly and close, Shane’s body reacted to Nicky’s and as he kissed him deeply he thrusted his hips against his

“Mmm, babe, what’s going on here?” Nicky asked with a playful look in his eyes.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing” Shane said as innocently as he could, but the lust burned in his eyes and Nicky saw it

“Are you sure about that babe?”

“Yes, I’m sure” Nicky found his lips and kissed him deeply, Shane moaned low.

As Nicky’s lips left his he looked at him again

“Still sure that nothing's going on?” he asked cheekily, Shane nodded weakly. Nicky looked at him and took his hand. Then he looked him deeply in the eyes before he said husky

“Come, I think that it’s perfectly legal for us to leave this party now” they both looked around, everyone had a good time and then they left without anyone noticing it. As soon as they reached their honeymoon suite and locked themselves in, their hands were all over each other.

"Babe you look so beautiful in white, but I’ve been dying to rip that suit of you all night long" Shane whispered as the door closed behind them.

"Right back at ya baby" Nicky kissed him hard and pulled Shane’s pants down in one quick move.

Shane gasped as Nicky's mouth took all of him in. Within seconds Nicky was deep throating him so hard that Shane nearly fell down. He grabbed a hold of Nicky's shoulders and dug his nails in.

"Fuuuuuck babe.... yes....my god...." Shane moaned loudly. "I’m gonna...Oh yeah...."

As Nicky deep throated him one more time, Shane came hard. He fell to his knees and panted away. Nicky threw his arms around him and held him tight.

"Easy now husband" Nicky whispered and smiled at him.

Shane tried to come down, but he failed. He held on to Nicky like his life depended on it. Nicky licked his lips; he could still taste Shane on them.

Before Nicky knew it, Shane’s lips were on his. They kissed for ages, they just couldn’t and wouldn’t stop.

Shane finally broke of the kiss and said hoarsely "Take your clothes off"

Nicky smirked at him and said, "Make me"

Shane was frantic by now, he needed to feel Nicky's naked body against his asap. He had never wanted to remove Nicky's clothes as much as he did now. When Nicky was naked, Shane took the rest of his own clothes off too. He pulled Nicky's body on top of his and they both moaned as the warmth of their bodies came together as one.

They started grinding together and their cocks were instantly hard.

"Oh baby.... please fuck me.... I can’t stand this.... I want you so bad...." Nicky yelled and moaned.

"Get up on it then babe" Shane whispered and as Nicky did, Shane moaned loudly.

Nicky rode him so wildly that Shane wasn’t sure he would last more than 5 minutes.

“Babe....Oh fuck.... don’t stop..." Shane was going out of his mind, he was so deep inside Nicky and he had never wanted him more.

Suddenly Nicky stopped and whispered, "take me hard baby" Shane didn’t waste any time; he pushed his hips up and trusted in and out of Nicky.

"Harder baby harder.... oh fuck" Nicky screamed at the top of his lungs.

Shane kept going, in and out, harder and harder. He wanted to come but he also didn’t wanted to stop.

"Fuck fuck fuck" Nicky yelled. He was seeing stars by now. "More, Shay more"

Shane wanted to speak but his mouth was so dry that no words came out.

Nicky was sweating and panting away. He loved being fucked like this...by his husband.

As he felt his orgasm being within reach, he yelled "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...."

Shane was close too, he wanted to come inside Nicky so badly.

He pulled at Nicky's hair and trusted into him fast and hard a few more times.

"Shaaaaaaayyyyyyy" Nicky screamed as he came, like he had never come before.

Seconds later Shane let out a cry and shot his load inside Nicky.

They collapsed into each other’s arms and tried to breathe. "I....love...you....my...god...I…. love...you..." Shane panted away.

"I....love....you.... too...baby...” Nicky whispered and kissed him.

They laid for a while just holding each other close and as their breathing became normal again, they looked at each other and smiled.

“How you doing husband?” Shane said husky and laughed low

Nicky felt his cock react to Shane’s words.

“Say it again” he practically begged.

“What?” Shane was confused now.

“Call me your husband again, it’s so hot” Nicky whispered as he nipped on Shane’s ear lope. “Really?” Shane smiled and knew that this information was gonna be very useful.

“Yeah, say it again baby” Nicky mumbled in his ear.

“My husband” Shane whispered the words as low as he could.

“Louder, please” Shane said the words again, a little louder this time.

“Louder” Nicky was almost yelling now. His lips were still on Shane’s ear lope, sucking away.

“MY HUSBAND” Shane screamed.

Nicky was so turned on now and he couldn’t take it any longer. He flipped Shane around and hammered into him. He fucked him so hard and fierce that Shane could barely breathe.

“Yes…yes.. yes…fuck me hard husband” Shane moaned.

Nicky was out of control; his hips were going mental. He kept hammering in and out of Shane, faster and faster.

“Oh fuck…oh fuck…. babeeeeee”

Nicky was taking him so hard that the bed was rocking and hammering into the wall.

“Keep going…don’t stop…harder…oh harder.... “

Shane was so close now. He tried to hold back; he didn’t wanted it to end.

As Nicky trusted in and out of him again and again, Shane couldn’t handle it anymore

“Shit…. Nicooooooo” Shane screamed as he came hard. Seconds later Nicky followed. He collapsed next to Shane and panted away. He closed his eyes and felt his orgasm rush through him. Shane grabbed his hand and their fingers intertwined.

Shane was the first to speak.

“Fuck babe, that was…. I…have no words for it” he laughed.

Nicky opened his eyes. “I can think of 2 words: AMAZING and EXHAUSTING” Then he laughed too.

“The power of 1 word huh babe?” Shane leaned in and kissed him deeply. Then he rested his head on Nicky’s chest. His heart was still beating a mile a minute and he was sweating.

“Damn, I’m spend” Nicky said and sighted.

“No shit Sherlock but your HUSBAND seems very satisfied” Shane smirked at him.

“He fucking better be, that was some of my best work"

“No doubt babe, no doubt” Shane whispered and closed his eyes.

None of them spoke for several minutes. Then Nicky finally said

“Remember to always kiss me good night baby”

Shane’s lips found his again and he opened his mouth. Their tongues danced away like ball room dancers. As the kiss ended, they said in unison

“I love you”

Shane laid his head back down on Nicky’s chest and closed his eyes once again.

Nicky sighted and closed his eyes too. Within minutes they were fast asleep with huge smiles on their faces, the happiest husbands in the world.


	24. Epilogue

1 year flew by, 1 wonderful year of marriage. Their love for each other was stronger than ever. But they knew that something was missing, something that could truly make them both complete, the last piece of heir love story.

They had a hope that someday they would be able to be blessed with the love of a little one who shared their DNA, but for now they enjoyed just being them.

Months flew by again and the desire to make their love story bigger than it already was, kept creeping up on them, so one day they made the decision to find someone who could help them with that part of their dream and future.

_2 years after their wedding_

Shane woke up a bit confused, his phone was ringing. He could barely open his eyes. He looked at his watch, 3.27 am. He wasn’t and had never been a morning person and this hour was the middle of the night for him.

“Hello” he said hoarsely.

“Shay, it’s time”

The voice on the other end was a voice he knew well, a voice that had come into their lives almost 9 months ago, a voice that was blessing them with the greatest gift of all.

The 3 words woke him up instantly.

“Ok, we’ll meet you at the hospital right away”

He quickly hung up and pushed Nicky’s arm. “Babe, wake up. It’s time”

“Huh? Time for what?” Nicky rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“The baby, our baby, she’s coming babe” Shane smiled widely at him, his eyes were shinning.

Those words woke Nicky up right away.

“Really? Oh my god baby, its finally happening” Nicky said and smiled from ear to ear.

In no time they got dressed and was ready to leave. As they walked towards the door, their fingers intwined and they smiled at each other. Nicky pulled Shane close and kissed him deeply.

Before he said

“1 and 1 is 2

2 means me and you

2 + 1 is 3

And 3 is family

Our family baby”

Shane blinked away a few tears and then they kissed again.

As their lips parted Shane said “Let’s go dad"

He couldn’t stop smiling.

“Right behind ya daddy” Nicky said and smiled back at him.

Seconds later they were in the car, breaking the speed limit all the way to the hospital.

Hours later they heard a sound, the most beautiful sound they had ever heard. The cries of their baby girl as she entered the world.

Nicky grabbed Shane’s hand and looked at him. They both had tears running down their cheeks.

“Baby, she’s beautiful” Nicky whispered and sniffled.

“Yeah, no one is as beautiful as her” Shane whispered back.

When the doctor handed them the baby, Nicky kissed her forehead and said

“Hey baby girl, I’m your dad, I promise to love you forever, welcome to the world”

Shane caressed her cheek and said

“Hi baby girl, I’m your daddy. Everything I have and everything I am is yours”

“We’re so lucky baby” Nicky said and kissed Shane lightly.

“Do we have a name?” The nurse asked and smiled at them.

They looked at each other and smiled.

“Yes, Shanice Filan-Byrne” Nicky said and almost cried again.

When they were driving home that evening with baby Shanice peacefully sleeping in her car seat, neither of them could stop smiling. Shane squeezed Nicky’s thigh and said

“I love you so much babe, now we’re truly a family”

“I love you too baby, the 3 of us against the world for always and forever”


End file.
